No control

Part 7

Slow with my steps, I cross the road and wait for Zayn to catch me up. The sound of a door closing in the distance signals Zayn made an excuse and left. Rapid footsteps race in my direction. A figure slows down its pace and mimics a walk beside me.

"So what was your excuse then?" I ask ,attempting to make conversation.

"I said I was going to ring up my mum" he replied with a slight tug at the corner of his mouth.

"Oh I see , your a mothers boy. She's back in Bradford I'm guessing ?" I ask.

"Yeah w-wait how did you know that ?" Shock amplified the pitch of his voice. We runners a corner and walked into a park . My eyes fell to a sign saying 'st James Park'.

"Your accent is strong , it's not that hard to tell. Also I have an old friend from there. When I was younger. Well he wasn't really a friend, I didn't even know his name."  I recalled from my memory.

It was just after my mother died , Dad took me to a friend's flat in Bradford to get away from any uproar that could happen until everything died down. That was the only time of my life he encouraged me to act and behave like a normal child. I went down to the gardens at the back of the flat block. I found a boy , a year or two older than I was playing with a football by himself. I can see it as if it was happening right infront of me. I walked straight over to him and kicked to ball into the net. At first he seemed shy. He wouldn't tell me his name cause I wasn't allowed to tell him mine. Dad said it was for my own protection but what is a young Bradford boy going to do realistically.  We talked for a while and played football.  I don't remember much that we talked about but one thing he said that stuck with me was when he turned around and said "no matter what people say , you are enough". My heart stopped. From time to time I still think of it. That was the first and only time I felt the weight of my families expectations off my shoulders. It was as if I pretended I was a normal girl who went to public school and had two normal , loving , living parents at home . I've never felt that way since though. Every day the weight got heavier , the panic attack became more frequent, and their missions I got were a lot harder.

We walked further into the park , away from the crowded areas until we reached a bench opposite a lake. Vibrant green trees and grass danced in the melody of the summer breeze.I couldn't help but admire the birds with snow covered feathers. I couldn't tell until they came closer to the edge of the lake that they were swans.

For a few seconds I was lost in my own thoughts , admiring the view until I asked "what do you know? You said you were going to tell me . So tell me."

"I've been in this band for around three years. At first it seemed like we were all normal lads surrounded by supportive people willing to guide us in any way we need. As time went on , we were recording our second album. Cracks started to show. Some members of management would refuse to even speak to me. I never understood why. At first I thought it was race , but it just didn't sit right. I decided to do my own investigating. I followed our manager and coach down to a quarry in Belfast. They were dumping a body in there."

His hands trembled at that thought. I know that feeling all too well. I turned to him , grabbed his hands and hugged him. I don't know why, it just felt right.Whenever I've had a panic attack, alls I've wanted is someone who understood how I felt to talk to me. To hug me. Tell me everything is going to be alright.

After a while I slowly let go of him. Tears were brimming in his eyes as he continued,"Ever since I joined the band I've been the quieter one. I don't really do large crowds, and majority of the time they only came when there was a lot of us. It was the perfect reason to just sit back and watch them. All of them."

Some parts of this didn't add up ." Zayn, earlier when you walked into the Diner , why was Harrys hand stained red. What happened between me ,Niall and Imogen leaving , to when you four walked in?"

"I wish I knew myself. I didn't even notice something dodgy was going on until we saw them  both again." Replies Zayn.

"What ? Who's we ?" I questioned.

"Liam asked me to help him move some of the equipment we will need for Mondays show into the boot of his car. Only afterwards when Louis and Harry came out of the building sheepish that I realised Liam was just distracting me." Added Zayn.

Why tell me of all people. Why not Imogen? Why not the Police? "Where is his car now Zayn. Wait why are you even telling me this? For all you know I could be involved in whatever they are doing."

"Jim told me about you. He caught me snooping around , looking for more information. He made me tell him everything. I'm working for your family Emily. You have to believe me. I know it seems crazy but it's true. I'm one of the inside routes. I want to find out what's going on as much as you. If we want to work out what's going on then we need to work together. His car is parked up round the corner of the studio. Why do you want to know?"  Zayn's confessions made me doubt everything I had been told.

Why hadn't my family told me? Does Imogen know? Zayn had a point though. If I wanted answers. I needed to trust him.

"Me and you are going to go and check out that car. And whatever else is hidden inside the studio." I announced. Giving him my phone number I continued,"ring me as soon as you are 100% sure the studio is empty. Then we will go to Liams car and go into the studio."

"Jim said you were an agent but how do you get into a car without the alarm going off ? Fuck the car what about the studio? There's CCTV everywhere." Protested Zayn.

"Don't you worry, that's where Imogen comes in."

I'm not going to lie I'm having too much fun writing this. Can't wait to write the next chapter !!