Haunted ~ j.m²

Chapter Eighteen: Whiplash

— — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — —

"But, it's you, Abby."

- JJ Maybank

— — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — —

[one week earlier]

Abigail climbs off her bike, letting it fall to the ground as she walks through the clearing, towards the old tree.

After storming out of the Chateau, Abby headed straight for Goat Island. She had tears falling from her eyes as she pedaled towards her safe place, just wishing for everything inside her to stop hurting so much.

By the time she gets there, she's choking back sobs. She braces herself against the tree, her knees buckling and falling to the grass. Her cheeks are stained with tears, tears that are rolling down to her neck. She brings her hand to her chest, tightly grasping her shirt as she allows herself to cry.

In this moment, right now, Abigail hates everything, and everyone.

She hates the Cameron's, for being greedy liars. She hates Rafe for being a psychopath, and murdering Sheriff Peterkin. She hates Ward for framing her best friend for the woman's death. She hates the police, too, for believing him.

She hates John B for sending them on this stupid treasure hunt. For dragging them into dangerous situations, all for a bunch of 'what if's'. She hates him for driving onto the tarmac that day, for trying to be a hero. She hates him for leaving. For running away, when he was innocent. She hates him for not getting away safely. For driving into a storm and killing himself. She hates him for dying.

She hates Sarah, too. For getting on the boat with him, and leaving. For dying. Although, it brings her some semblance of peace, knowing that they were together, she still hates them for it.

She hates her friends. She hates Kiara for not being around the last month. She hates her for how nonchalant she was about JJ struggling. She hates the girl for being a shit friend. She hates Pope for taking Kiara's side. She hates him for throwing himself into his books and hiding from his feelings. She hates that they failed her.

She hates JJ. She hates this person he's become. She hates how cruel and cold he's been, especially towards her. She hates how much he's drinking, she hates how scared she is for him, how much she cares about him. She hates him for yelling at her, and for constantly pushing her away when things get too hard.

But, most of all, she hates herself.

She hates how right JJ was, how she can't ever just worry about herself. She hates how much she cares for other people. She hates herself for putting that responsibility on herself, to take care of everyone. She hates how big her heart is, and how much it hurts right now.

She hates how much she doesn't actually hate her friends, or blame them for any of this. Because it's not who she is. She's not hateful, which just makes her angrier with herself. She hates how alone she feels, and how much she needs her friends.