Sorellina | ✔️

Chapter Thirty-Eight

When I walk downstairs the next day, I hear chatter in the kitchen. Thanksgiving break began today. I walk into the kitchen, dad's brother Dante is in the kitchen, he looks surprised when I walk in. He's standing next to where Sandro and Elijah are standing with a laptop on the counter in front of them.

"Good morning," I say, sitting at the island.

"Morning, Mads," Elijah smiles.

"Good morning, principessa," Zio Dante says.

Elijah grabs a plate from the microwave, setting it in front of me. Zio Dante shuts the laptop. "How are you feeling?" He asks, "I understand meeting all of us at once could have been a lot."

I've never spoken to him. He wasn't there when everyone was being introduced. The only family member I spoke to at dinner was Mateo and even that was briefly. I kind of can't wait to meet everyone again at Thanksgiving.

"I'm fine, I think I'll do better next time," I say, "I'm sorry about that, I know it was a family thing."

He sits down across from me at the island as Alessandro steps out to pick up a call and Elijah walks into the living room.

"You can correct me if I'm wrong of course, but you had an anxiety attack, no?" He asks.

I nod, "They get pretty heavy sometimes," I shrug.

"I have a little secret if you're willing to hear it," He says, "Almost every single one of my nephews, your cousins, have anxiety or had it at some point."

"Really?" I ask, looking up from my hands.

"Yep, it's a bitch to deal with, right?" He asks.

"Yeah, it sucks," I say.

Alessandro walks back in a bit later, "Alright, Maddie. We're gonna get back to working, you can go watch something in the living room."

When I walk out, Xander is on the couch and Carlo is sat on the floor in front of the other couch, they're half watching whatever is on the TV but mostly talking. I hear the names of a few people from school and realize they're just gossiping.

"They're into each other, it's obvious," I hear Xander saying as I enter.

"I thought she was with Darren, though," Carlo says, cocking his head to the side slightly.

"Are you talking about Mia?" I ask, sitting down on the couch.

I realize I interjected and don't expect them to answer. "Yeah, why?" Carlo says, laying his head back on the couch to look up at me.

"I saw her in the locker room with Hazel, like, with with Hazel," I say, pulling my phone out of my back pocket.

Carlo turns to me as if his life depends on it, "Dead ass?"

"Yeah, I swear. Literally, like, last week. And she was leaving the storage room all disheveled after first period yesterday with Scott," I say, thinking back.

"I feel like she's cheated on Darren with half the people at school," Carlo says, looking down at his phone screen, "I'd almost feel bad for Darren if he wasn't such a snitch."

Sounds like there's some bad blood. I almost giggle considering the type of person Darren looks to be and how bold he must be to have gotten on Xander's bad side. A boy who wears long knee socks and fresh pressed polos and bowties.

I miss just sitting around outside of school gossiping about my classmates.

I stand up, "I'm gonna go run on the treadmill a bit if that's okay," I say.

"You remember where the gym is?" Xander asks. "Yeah," I say.

I'm pretty sure I remember. I go into my room and change into a sweat suit and head downstairs and down the extensive hallway. After walking for a solid 5-10 minutes, I realize I don't exactly remember where it is. I come to a door that looks like it could maybe be the door to the gym, I don't remember what it looked like.

I open the door, but instead of finding the short hallway to the gym, it looks like an office. I flick the light on curiously, I never see my brothers come all the way down this hallway.

I walk in and look around, it looks similar to Sandro's. The first thing my eye catches is the large picture on the wall. A family of 9.

6 Boys, a mother, and a father holding a little girl.

My brothers. My mother. And my father...Holding me.

My eyes stay transfixed on the picture. My mom has an arm around who looks like Alessandro, while her other is around who I assume is Elijah. Emilio is sitting crisscross on the floor with a smile too mature for a child and Francesco has a beaming smile and is standing in front of mom. Xander has an unimpressed stare, but a partial smile, and he's holding my hand from where my father is holding me, and Carlo has a grip on my father's sleeve and his other hand gripping Xander's with a bright smile.

My eyes are glued to the picture and it's as if I'm stuck in this spot.

Is this what it was like when I was little? The huge smile on my face, the loving family, the pure happiness? Suddenly, I find myself wanting 2 parents. I want to know what it's like. I want to beg until my knees bleed to go back in time and do something to fix this. To bring this family back.

I only had one parent. Now I have none just like that.

"You shouldn't be in here, you know."

I look back quickly, my heart drops until I realize it's Carlo. I take a deep breath, drawing my eyes away from the picture. I never want to see it again.

I turn to him, "When does it stop hurting?" I ask shakily.

He looks like he's caught off guard. But then I see the sadness kind of take on his expression. I realize how unfair it is of me to ask that. Because from my own experience, having never had a parent who cared about me, having loss my mother metaphorically from the moment she took me away, I know that the pain never stop.

I look up at him, finally making eye contact but his eyes are cast to the floor and it's dark, but I'm pretty sure I can see tears gathering, he turns to leave, "Dinner's ready."

. . .

what do we think of the book so far? favorite and least favorite characters? any ideas or anything you wanna see in particular?

i know it's usually 2 chapters, but this is really all i have ready im so sorry, school has been such a pain and im really behind with my revisions and i have a lot of upcoming exams and writing assignments and then im drained by the time i finish

but im gonna try to update with another chapter at least sometime today, this week, or have 2-3 chapters ready by next sunday

thanks for reading, lots of love <333