Chapter Twenty-Eight

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After about an hour of staying in my room, there's a knock and Carlo appears. I haven't seen any of them since earlier, though I'm assuming all my brothers know since I heard Francesco, Sandro, and Emilio come into the house earlier.

"I have a canvas set up if you want to paint?" He says.

Deep down, maybe I do want to paint. But I can't let them off the hook that easily, I can't let them think what happened is just 'okay' because it isn't.

"I have a lot of homework to do," I say simply

"We could work on it after," He offers.

I can tell this is his way of trying to reconcile and for a moment I almost accept, especially considering how much I wanted to do this with him. But then, once again I recall the looks they all gave me. Like I'm some jealous brat. Some little girl that doesn't deserve to be taken seriously. Bringing up what I've been through to justify their defending of Emma, telling me to 'cling to someone else'.

"I'll pass. I'm really tired so I'll probably turn in for the night afterward."

He's quiet, "Alright, well...Let me know if you change your mind."

Even the way he's treating me fragile-like pisses me off.

"Maddie, dinner," Elijah calls.

Despite my anger, I'm starving. I've gotten used to my after-school meals, and I can feel the effects of skipping it earlier. I see that my brothers have gotten me on a schedule with this eating thing.

I stand up from my swivel chair and walk downstairs. My brothers' chatter dies down the moment I enter the kitchen. All of their eyes are on me, I ignore their stares, walking past my usual seat next to Carlo and Xander and sitting in an unoccupied seat near the end of the table.

I don't know why I wait for any of them to apologize, to say anything. But they don't. The dinner is quiet. I refuse to say anything more than I have to. "How was the food?" Emilio says with a slight grin. Does he think just because it turns out I'm not a jealous brat that everything is okay? He may not be disappointed anymore, but I am.

"It was fine," I say crisply, setting my fork down and putting my dishes in the dishwasher.

"Madison, come to my office now, please," Sandro calls from the hallway.

I shut the dishwasher and walk quietly past the others and into Sandro's office. He gestures for me to sit in the seat in front of his desk, he sits behind it.

"You have to understand that when these things happen, we have your best interests in heart. You understand that, right?" He says.

"I remember once, mom said 'you can never come to an understanding with someone who is protecting themselves'. I can't sit here and talk to you when all you're gonna do is try to convince me any of that was for my own good. I was humiliated, I was hurt, I felt betrayed," I shake my head, "I really thought you'd hear what I had to say and then you didn't. I've given you so much trust, and I'm learning now that you never trusted me."

He's quiet for a moment. "Elena happened to be correct. The truth is, I'm not my father. I don't have the experience he had, and I'm learning as I go along. I don't want to lay down a consequence when it isn't justified, but I don't want something to require consequences and it goes unpunished. So should I make a mistake, I don't need you to forgive and forget, I need you to simply understand."

"But I can't trust you anymore," I say, "I foolishly put all my trust into all of you, and just like Daniel and mom, you used your power over me against me."

I watch his eyes darken slightly and he gives me a crisp nod, "I've told you that trust is earned, and I understand that it applies to us as well. I admit that I was wrong, and I'm asking for you to consider forgiving me," He finishes, reaching into his desk and handing me my phone.

But the apology doesn't make me feel any better. I don't feel happier, I don't even feel forgiving, "It's gonna take time."

"Understood," He says.

I grab my phone, standing up, "Thank you."

I walk out of his office. I hear a movie playing from the living room and for a moment, I consider going to watch it. Only for a moment. I take a left, walking up the stairs and down the hallway into my room.

I sit on the side of my bed, laying my homework out in front of me. About a page in, I absently look over at the picture I put on my nightstand. Is it possible I was jealous of Emma?

I know that's not why I hit her, that's not what worries me. But she has so much that I want. The blonde hair, my brothers' affection and attention, she knew my father...She has so much. Is that why my father gave me away? Because Emma was more what he really wanted?

He loved my mother, I don't look like my mother at all. Hell, even Emma looked more like my mother than I did, could it be possible that she was more of the daughter he wanted, the daughter he wish he had?

I hear my door creak open, I look over at Elijah who walks in, sitting on the side of my bed, "Going to bed?" He says.

I nod, looking down at my book as to avoid eye-contact, "Just have to finish my homework."

He sighs. He's quiet for a moment, "I apologize for the way I handled the situation. I should've let you speak before punishing you. I assure you, the situation is being dealt with," He pauses, "Can you forgive me?"

I think about the hurt and betrayal I felt when they turned against me the way they did, and I'm suddenly not sure if I'm ready to forgive them yet.

"I don't know," I say, softly.

"Can you think about it?"

I nod. He stands up, "Thanks, bambina."

He begins to walk toward he door, "Elijah," I say finally, he turns to look at me. "I didn't mean what I said," I say, "I don't hate you or any of you."

Xander to be determined.

"I know," Elijah says. He walks out, "Good night, Maddie."

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