Sorellina | ✔️

Chapter Sixty-Two

The next day, I'm sitting in the living room just watching a movie with Carlo and Xander. Carlo let me paint his nails, so I have the sky blue polish sitting on the coffee table in front of the couch as I sit with my back leaning on the armrest behind me.

As I work though, my mind runs away from me. Back to something Dante had said in the warehouse.

'If it was up to me, I'd have Daniel killed right now, and once I get the business, I will.'

I've been trying to suppress it, the same way I've been trying to suppress everything. But if there's one thing I learned from when I just moved in, is that it's bound to explode at some point. I've been suppressing so much since that night and sometimes I actually forget about it, but then other times, I can feel the weight of it hanging on my shoulders.

If Daniel is alive...Then there's something I need to do.

"Is Sandro in his office?" I ask, twisting the cap back onto the nail polish.

"Should be," Xander says.

I stand up and walk to his office down the hallway. I hesitate, is this a good idea? If I ask then it'll be too late to back up, I'll have to commit. But Sandro will tell me if he doesn't think it's a good idea. Right?

I knock on the door before I can change my mind. At first I feel a hint of relief when he doesn't answer immediately because I'm conflicted. "Come in."

I exhale and open the door nervously. Walking in and shutting it behind me, I sit down in the seat in front of the desk.

He looks incredibly busy. He's been getting increasingly busy it seems. Elijah keeps telling me to just give it a few days and then he'll work less but he's been saying that for a month now. It's the new year and if anything, Sandro's been more busy.

"In mom's letter she told me that I should forgive them," I begin, "I want to. I do. But I just...I need closure?" It comes out like a question and I realize just how unsure I am of this.

He continues typing, but the rhythm he was working in changes ever so slightly. "Daniel."

My heart sinks, I'm really asking this? "I'd like to talk to him."

He stops typing and pushes his laptop aside slightly, making sure to keep the screen turned away from me. "You're very intuitive, Madison. I won't tell you not to do it if you believe it's the right thing for you to do."

He's giving me the decision?

I hesitate. I try to read his expression as he holds eye contact with me. But he's not as easy to read as I am. Does he want me to do it, or is he giving me this freedom secretly hoping I'll decide against it. But if he truly believed it was the wrong decision, he wouldn't let me do it.

And I know deep down, this is something I need to do it.

"Yeah, I want to talk to him. I'm sure." That last part is a lie. We both know it, but he still doesn't step in. It's frustrating because I don't always like when my brothers step in and make decisions for me, but one of the few times I really want him to step in and tell me what I should do, he doesn't.

"You'll do it tomorrow after school," He tells me, "For now, go relax with your brothers."

I know that's just his way of trying to kick me out nicely because he's busy so I leave him be and go back into the living room.

Am I ready to actually do this?

. . .

The next day, going through my first day back at school is kind of nerve-wracking knowing what I'm doing after school.

I'm sitting at the library table in History's free period with Logan working on the History presentation we were grouped together for earlier but I can't even focus. When Carlo heard we were paired for the project, he gave an empty threat "If you try to do anything with him, you'll be withdrawn. And also I'm always watching." But I don't think he's actually that pressed about it, because I haven't seen him since this morning, and I don't think he expects me to do anything anyway which kind of makes me want to prove him wrong, but I know he's right. I won't do anything.

Mostly though, I'm not even paying attention. My heart is racing, my stomach is queasy at the though of talking to Daniel again. The man who's caused me so much pain for as long as I can remember. Ruined my outlook on trust, family, life, happiness, how I view myself and everything around me. He's ruined so much for me. I can't even think about him and I've somehow told myself it was a good idea to see him.

Will it put me back at square one? I'll regress on any progress I've made and go back to how I was before?

"Maddie? Are you okay?"

Logan's voice snaps me out of my thoughts before I have the chance to spiral out of my own control. I nod, "Yeah, sorry, I was distracted."

"You've been out of it all day? Is um..." He hesitates, "What's wrong?"

I don't answer him immediately, I don't even know what to tell him. I could just brush him off. He looks genuinely worried, his eyes are on me and nothing else and I want to tell him. "After school, I have to um...I have to go see someone after school, and he um...He's hurt me a lot in the past, I'm just a little nervous to do it."

He hesitates for a moment. "Is he...Is he the reason you live with your brothers?"

I don't answer immediately again. He seems to snap back to reality and looks like he regrets asking, "Sorry." He looks back at the textbook with determination, but I can tell he isn't really reading it. I look down at my hands on the table, "Kind of, it's hard to explain."

"Oh that must suck," He says, he absently pulls the drawstrings of his hoodie, "My dad was a jerk to my mom everyday. When him and my mom finally divorced a couple years back, she had to see him in court every day for almost 2 months," He pauses thoughtfully, "But she said that it's better to go through a few months of pain to divorce him than to endure the pain and regret of not doing it for her entire life or whatever she'd said."

His mom sounds like a smart person. I wonder if my mom was a mother to me, if she would have given me little pieces of wisdom like that. Anything she's ever taught me has been rooted in bitterness. I want to know what her positive lessons were. If she would have taught me how not to cry when little things happened because good things will follow, or to have hope in hopeless moments because it'll guide you out of it, or that bad things are temporary. All those little lessons that I've had to learn the hard way.

When the bell rings, I sit there for a second.

"Well, we didn't get much work done," He shrugs, standing and stretching.

"That's my bad, sorry-"

"It's mine. I wasn't actually working the whole time. I have Roblox open in the other tab," He turns his laptop toward me guiltily.

I can't help my small grin as he shuts his laptop and puts it away. "I'll see you tomorrow then," He says. He leaves and I hesitantly walk out. When I walk to the exit of the school, I'm surprised to see Elijah out there. The only time he's ever picked me up from school is when the whole thing with Emma happened.

I walk out to him.

There's no backing out of it now.