Sorellina | ✔️

Chapter Forty-Four

A hand touches my arm and the contact breaking through my racing thoughts causes me to flinch away. I hear distant voices chattering, they overlap at some point.

"Try telling her who you are."

"Shove it, carrot top." The voice is familiar.

"You fucking-"

Next thing I know I'm being involuntarily guided somewhere, there's the sound of footsteps, and then a door closing.

"Maddie, it's Carlo. It's just an anxiety attack. You're fine, I swear."

Carlo. I know Carlo. He's my brother.

It's as if all the points of view finally steadily combine into one and I'm back at the school, under the stares of Carlo, Logan, and Rowan.

"Are you okay?" Logan asks.

But the moment I'm back in this scene, I feel embarrassed, I just had an episode in the middle of the hallway. The door opens and my eyes snap over to the door in panic until I realize it's just Xander. He watches me for a second until he's sure I'm fully present before looking back at his phone, "Elijah asked if you want to go home?"

Rowan is glaring at Xander and I'm assuming they disagreed on something. I don't like to back down from anything, it makes me feel weak, but I do want to go home. So I nod.

"Stay here with Xander while I get your stuff from your locker," Carlo says.

I don't ask him how and why he knows the code to my locker. "Anxiety is okay," Rowan says to me, almost sternly.

"Okay," I say.

"Wanna explain what you're doing hanging out with Maddie?" Xander says to Logan, "Don't think I haven't heard about you 2 getting closer."

I frown, "Xander stop, that rule is dumb."

When his eyebrows go up, I realize that was the wrong thing to say. "Don't tell me you have a no boys rule," Rowan says.

"You both can leave now, she's fine," Xander says.

"Xander stop being so rude," I say, frustration is starting to build in my chest.

He all but shoves Rowan and Logan out before turning to me, "You act like these rules are in place for no reason. You think we want to restrict you from doing all these things?!" He says.

"You sure act like it! Because of you, nobody in school even wants to get near me! And I finally have friends and you're rude to one and I'm not allowed to even talk to the other!"

He's angry. "The rules are for a reason!"

I'm starting to get angry too, "You keep fucking saying that, but it doesn't make sense!" I say, my voice raises the slightest bit.

"No cursing-"

"You know I really can't stand you sometimes," I snap.

He stops.

"You keep apologizing and then doing the same exact things! Why am I supposed to accept it every time?!" I say angrily, and then I'm not so angry, as much as I am just disappointed, maybe confused? "Why can't you just treat me like a sibling instead of a criminal?"

He's quiet. We both are, until Carlo walks in with my books, sliding them into my bookbag, "Ready to go?"

...

I walk into the house, Elijah greets us at the door, I'm already prepared for his concern, it's fine, I just don't want to cry from my argument with Xander. He's been quiet and I saw the confliction on his face in the car. I try not to let it sting that this is something he has to act conflicted about, why can't he just act like my brother for once?

"Are you alright, Maddie?" Elijah asks, inspecting my face as if I was in a fight.

"I'm fine, it was just an anxiety attack," I say.

"So it wasn't a panic attack?" He asks curiously, "What triggered it, then?"

"We were talking about um..." It feels scary to even venture back into a conversation about a holiday that has never brought me anything good, "Christmas and my birthday and stuff, it reminded me of home-"

"Seattle?" He interrupts.

"Yeah, Seattle," I correct, "And then I just panicked and it felt like I was back in my old room."

"Do you want to watch a movie in the living room?" He asks.

"Yeah."

"Do you want anyone to watch it with you?" He asks leading me into the living room.

"No."

He hands me the remote, "Your food should be here in about 10 minutes," He says, "I'll be in the kitchen if you need anything."

"Okay," I say.

Throughout the rest of the afternoon, I don't really cross paths with Xander again, Emilio, Francesco and Sandro are at the warehouse, and Carlo laid on the couch with his phone for about an hour but dozed off about 10 minutes ago, I lean over onto his arm on my way to sleep as well until the front door opens and my brothers walk in. Emilio walks into the living room immediately, pulling me into a hug full of concern, "Are you alright? Elijah told us what happened," He says.

"Yeah, I'm fine," I say.

"Maddie, when you're done with your brothers, I'd like to see you in my office," Sandro says.

I appreciate him bringing me to his office for conversations I wouldn't want to have in front of all my brothers, which is why I'm assuming this is a conversation I'm not going to like.

So after talking with Francesco and Emilio for about 5 more minutes, I hesitantly enter Sandro's office. I sit down at the desk as he wraps up a conversation on his phone before hanging up.

He's quiet for a moment, I'm assuming he's thinking as he's watching me, "Xander told me a little bit about the conversation the 2 of you had."

It takes everything in me not to scowl, "Oh." I prepare to get in trouble.

"Explain to me what happened," He says.

That catches me a little off guard, "Oh, um..." I hesitate, I hope this isn't a trick to get me to admit to whatever Xander told him, "When I got really anxious," I don't like calling it an anxiety attack, it makes it sound like I'm messed up, "Rowan and Logan helped me. And I know that Logan is a boy, but he's one of my only 2 friends, and I..."

I pause for a second, knowing I have to word this very carefully, Sandro narrows his eyes slightly, listening, and I can understand why he would be a CEO, which is why I know I have to word this properly.

I continue cautiously, "I understand why there are rules...And I understand why some of them make sense. But, I think that the one about boys doesn't entirely make sense," I keep myself from wincing, "I'm not talking about getting a boyfriend. I'm talking about simply talking to a boy, he's my friend, and I won't be able to hang out with Jess and Chase all the time anymore. And Logan and Rowan are the only people I talk to. And without being sexist, I can't see the reason why hanging out with Logan could be much different than hanging out with Rowan," I say.

He sits there silent for a moment, then he sits up, "You aren't wrong," He says. My heart bubbles up with happiness at the simple sliver of praise, but I keep it suppressed, "It's alright if you continue to talk to and hang out with Logan and Rowan," He says.

"Thank you," I say, I decide to push it, "What about a tattoo?" I say.

I can almost swear he grins slightly, "Don't push it."