The Ultimate Gentleman (Part 2)

Fifteen

Johnny walked in the bedroom and saw two large cases open on the bed. His wife was folding a jumper and placing it in when she looked up. "The truth?" She said sarcastically and he nodded walking further into the room and closing the door behind himself. Holly scoffed at this. "Listen to me. PLEASE." He said firmly. His wife nodded and sat down on the bed pushing the cases to the side. "You want to tell me, the truth? The whole truth?" She asked folding her arms. "Yes I swear. No secrets. No hiding anything.." "Go on..." she replied firmly.

Johnny sat down beside his wife and played with his hands. He didn't know where to start, he knew he had to tell her but he just couldn't find the words. "I think we both know.... The older I get the bigger the age gap feels." He began. Holly turned with raised eyebrows, was he really going to blame the age gap on his actions? "It's never been an issue for me, and never will be." She replied curtly. Johnny took a deep breath. "I'm not saying for you.. I'm just aware of it. Way more aware, with every passing year." "Johnny.. save it.." "look you wanted the truth I'm giving it to you..." Holly nodded. Could she really face hearing the truth about his infidelity? "I'm 11 years older than you. I'm nearing on 50 that's tough on a guy when your wife is a whole decade younger but also still looks as if she's 25." He smiled nudging her with his elbow gently. If she looked so good, why would he seek company elsewhere she thought to herself. "And earlier this year, deciding to have another baby.. it filled me with a whole new lease of life, I was so fucking excited. Especially with how good we are at making kids, I mean look at them." Holly nodded once more. "But I failed you." He said quietly looking down at his lap. "I've not been able to do it for us. Not be able to give you what you want."

Holly turned to him. "Johnny, it's not your fault? It's not your sole responsibility. I'm getting older. It could be me, for all we know... besides it's only been four months. Some people try for two or three years." She said desperately. "I know. I get stuck in the fucking circus of my brain. You know, I know I'm not good enough. It gets to me, it eats away at me." "Why didn't you speak to me? We didn't have to try for a third child." She replied making him look up at her once more. "Because we both wanted it so much. How could I shatter that dream? I'm the guy, I'm your guy, I'm meant to make your dreams come true." "So you sought comfort elsewhere?" She asked sternly, "NO fuck no." Johnny replied looking startled, before lowing his voice, "I did the opposite, I worked harder, pushed myself more. Stayed busy, because if it was me, if I was the reason, I didn't know how to tell you, and with me getting older and god forbid I croak it early and you're left, I wanted to know you could handle it, and of course you did, you are. You could do anything you wanted to. You're amazing." Holly's eyebrows furrowed. "You purposely distanced yourself?" "No god not intentionally but now it's obvious that's what I was doing. Holly... I've lost two of my best mates. Shane was not that MUCH older than me.... I might not have it in me to be a father again, god I want to.. but what if my body is saying Nah John... no more." "Johnny, Shane had serious medical issues. Jeff was a lot older and sadly got taken down by a cruel disease." Johnny nodded. "They still went though, didn't they? Sandra and Victoria are on their own now..." "Johnny, don't you dare talk like that. We were in this together. You and me against the world remember?" Johnny nodded smiling she remembered something he told her when they first began dating.

"And the women?" She asked turning her body to face him. "What women? I've only ever had eyes for you since the moment I met you." "The photographs?" She asked firmly. "Good angles. The blonde has propositioned me a number of times. I've rejected every single time. I should have told you. She's a make up artist on the videos. I haven't fired her. I don't think I can for personal shit but I'll try. Polina... I had no idea she would be there, I'm sorry. She came over, we caught up, fuck we even showed each other our wedding photos... there is NOTHING GOING ON." Holly nodded slowly. She did trust Johnny, didn't she? "Clever photos, sleezy headlines, we've been through it before haven't we?" Johnny said sincerely. Holly nodded, boy had they been through it. "So.." she replied not knowing what to do. "Now what?" Johnny asked. "Do you believe me? Do you still want to divorce me?" He asked with hurt in his eyes. She fought back tears and quickly shut her eyes before nodding. "I believe you." She whispered before he threw his arms around her. "I'm sorry." He apologised sincerely. "I know you've had it all to deal with recently and that's not fair. I apologise. Please, please forgive me. It was a bad call choosing drink and a good time over you, my family. I was weak." Holly pulled back and smiled through her tears. "I'm sorry.. I just got so lost in it all and so snowed under that I put you being less around and the headlines together and just blew up. I couldn't imagine life without you." "But you were so quick to decide on divorce?" "Johnny, I refuse to show those girls a weak woman... no matter how much it hurt I would never let them grow up thinking any man can use them, take advantage of them or be treated with anything less than the upmost respect, especially from their husband." Johnny swallowed nervously, and admired his wife even more before nodding. "I understand."