Better Off Alone (BOOK 1)(Wattys 2016)

Don't Have A Clue What To Do

The days pass and so do the weeks, but everything is better, brighter and more exciting. I'm not under any wonder as to why it's this way now. I know it's because Larkin is my boyfriend and we get to share everyday together.

When Thanksgiving rolls around I know exactly what I'm thankful for and it's him. He's helped me so much that I'm not sure how I could have survived without him through the past couple weeks.

In the afternoons when I'm not working we either spend time in the art rooms where I paint and he reads mythology or some other book and writes, and sometimes we go places we want to explore. One time we found an abandoned house and tiptoed around the broken glass and falling apart walls before coming across an old writing desk that we may have just taken back to Larkin's. Another time we walked along the beach and tried to skip seashells in the ever changing ocean. It's not that we didn't go on actual dates - we do. But there's something about just being able to be with someone that's tens of times better. After all, I really fell for Larkin when we spent that day together.

At school I feel his absence through the morning like a limb has been cut from me. All through the beginning of December I find myself become a little colder as he leaves me for his classes. We see each other in the hall, but not really until seventh period. Then, of course, we spend the rest of the afternoon and night together.

Everything is perfect.

The Friday before winter break comes and Olive, Macey and I stand by our lockers, waiting for first period. "What are the plans, gang?"

"Winter plans?" I ask.

She nods. "Yeah, I'm visiting New York City for break."

"What for?" Olive asks.

Macey shrugs. "Nothing, just checking some stuff out."

Olive smiles, but I can see a slight strain. She hates it when people leave her behind, but she never comes out and says that. "That'll be fun. I'm just hanging around the house, single and alone."

"Hey, I'll be around." I protest, nudging her lightly.

She rolls her eyes, sarcasm filling her face. "Oh, yeah, with Larkin."

Now I roll my eyes. "Hey, be nice. I like him... And yes, I'll be spending time with him, but I'm sure we'll have some time away from each other too."

"Oh, yeah, like when you work... and sleep." Olive says.

Macey smirks. "If then."

I blush madly. Larkin and I haven't had sex yet and I'm not sure if it's even something we've thoroughly thought through yet. Personally, I don't believe it should happen without thorough thinking through and I know Larkin respects me in the sense that he'll wait. I mean it's not like he's a virgin.

But I know it'll happen. And I don't mind waiting for the perfect time.

"Mace, please."

She giggles. "Just saying."

***

Christmas morning I wake up before I usually do, to the sound of my phone ringing at seven a.m. Larkin's name lights up across the screen and I answer the phone, a smile edging onto my sleep-riddled face. "Hi, Lark. Merry Christmas."

"Hi, babe. Merry Christmas back to you."

There's a silence and I fill it. "Do you need something? Or just calling?"

He sighs. "Something's come up and I can't come over today. I hope you'll understand."

I try to clear my mind, sleep still heavy in me. "What? Something bad?"

He sighs again. "I have to explain later. Sorry, Gem. I'll call you in a few hours."

"Okay..." I'm so confused, but sleep is still clouding my brain. "Love you."

"Love you too and, Gem, I hope you're alright... Always."

The hours tick by and I'm obviously not able to fall back asleep. I'm beyond worried. What's wrong and why couldn't he explain right then? Right there, when he was on the phone? Why did he say that last line?

But even after three hours there's still no call and I'm left wondering what exactly is wrong and where is Larkin?

***

Later in the evening, there's still no call and I begin to feel sick to my stomach. My parents notice that something's off with me but I don't volunteer information and they don't pry. Clive, however, feels no shame in asking me. I'm in my room as its getting dark outside and he sits on my bed next to me.

"Alright, what's got you in the dumps? It's Christmas and you've barely smiled. Plus, you've checked your phone like every five minutes."

I glare at him. "What does it matter to you?"

"Hey now, don't get an attitude. You and I always share what's on our mind, so please, tell me. I want to know how I can help." Clive nudges me and gives me a warm smile.

I feel a slight quiver run through me and I bite down, clenching my teeth to try to keep any tears at bay. "Larkin called this morning... and he said he couldn't come over. That was around seven thirty. He said he couldn't explain, but that he'd call back in a few hours to tell me why..."

"And he hasn't called?" Clive rubs my back gently, soothingly.

I shake my head. "I'm so worried, Clive... I'm angry too. Why couldn't he just tell me then and there?"

Clive shakes his head. "I don't know. Have you asked Eddie?"

I shake my head. "He said he didn't know where Larkin is... No one knows where he is or what he's doing... Clive, you don't think he's in trouble, do you?"

Clive shakes his head again. "I don't know what to say, Gemmie."

And I don't have a clue what to do.

A/N:

Emily Rudd as Macey Littlefield

Love always, Samantha <3