Better Off Alone (BOOK 1)(Wattys 2016)

Life Without Regrets

Clive leaves straight from school, before I can mention that I'll come with him, to go to work. I catch a ride with Macey and Olive and they drop me off at the board walk where Clive works in the surf shop. I enter the shop and look around for him, but he's nowhere to be seen.

Simon, the owner of the shop and a retired professional surfer, smiles at me and waves me over to the counter. "How can I help you, Miss Lawrence?"

I smile. "Yeah, can you tell Clive I'm here?"

Simon frowns. "Well, I would, but he's not here."

"Oh, but isn't he working?"

Simon shakes his head. "No, he's been taking week days off so he can practice for when the scout comes."

"What?!" I can't believe what Simon's saying. Wouldn't Clive have mentioned something to me about having a scout come to see him surf?

"He didn't tell you?" Simon sounds surprised.

"No, he didn't. Can you tell me if he's at the main beach?" I begin moving out of the store.

Simon nods. "Yeah he is. Hope you clear things up, Gemma."

I walk out of the shop and head down the not-so-busy boardwalk. I spot Clive almost immediately. He's the only one surfing and I can see him riding a rather large wave. As I get closer I can see more of him. I see how he's standing relaxed, but still focused. Every move he makes is calculated and thought out. It's almost as if he knows how the wave is going to move before it does and he just adapts to move with it.

Only when the wave dies out does he stop and fall into the water, but even that is graceful. He stays beneath the surface and unhurriedly comes above. When he does I come close to the water and wave my arms, calling his name.

Slowly, Clive comes over to me, pulling his board behind him. "Gemma, how'd you know I was here?"

"Simon told me... Why did he have to tell me? Why didn't you?"

Clive comes to stand right next to me, still holding his board. "What else did Simon tell you?"

"He told me a scout was coming to see you surf." Clive looks down at his feet and I nudge his wet shoulder. "Clive, why didn't you tell me? That's huge."

He shrugs. "I didn't want you thinking I was overworking myself. I've been out here for hours every day and I know you think I push myself too hard."

I make a 'pfft' sound. "You do work too hard, but this is different. What is the scout... scouting for?"

"He's looking for a new person to sponsor next fall. I could potentially become a professional surfer." I can hear the excitement in Clive's voice.

"No freakin way!" I let out a laugh, excited for him beyond anything.

Clive's smile is huge, taking over his face. "I know! I'm just... I need to get a little bit better. I'm almost where I need to be, but until then, I'm going to keep surfing... Anyway, why were you looking for me to begin with?"

I feel my smile fade, realizing I'm a little bit of a hypocrite for not sharing my own big news. "Well, two things. First off, I've been asked to have my art in the Crary!" I can't help the slight squeal of excitement that escapes me. Every time I remember that my art will be featured there I become overwhelmed all over again.

Clive's smile is just as big as it was when he was talking about his surfing. "What?! Gemma! That's all you've ever dreamt of! I'm so proud of you!" He scoops me into his arms and I laugh, thinking of the possibilities that could come from this competition.

"Do you know what pieces you're going to enter?" Clive asks, pulling back some.

I shake my head. "No, I can't seem to find the inspiration in anything. And the second thing I wanted to talk about... I'm distracted."

Clive looks confused. "Distracted? By what, grades? Don't worry, Gemmie, you're an ace where that's concerned."

I shake my head again. "No... surprisingly I'm not worried at all about that. It's... all this stuff with Larkin. Today was... weird."

"What happened? I thought he... was, well, you know."

I roll my eyes. "I...like him. I wish we could be friends. But I know he's not sorry about kissing me and spreading the rumor. And I'm afraid it will be super awkward. I'm just so confused, Clive."

Clive frowns. "Huh, well. Larkin... seems like an okay guy. I mean, he likes Nirvana which is a plus in my book. And he seemed alright at dinner. The only thing I worry about is that he is a player and I fear for you, Gemma."

I rub my eyes, tired and confused beyond measure. "What should I do, Clive? I told him I didn't want to talk to him, but in all truth, I think I do."

"Then... talk to him. Tell him you're angry. Tell him you want to try to be friends." Clive shrugs, smiling at me.

"Ugh! Why is it all so complicated?! I just want to graduate and leave, for Pete's sake!"

Clive laughs. "Don't worry, Gemma, it'll come soon enough."

"So... you think I should talk to him?"

Clive looks at me for a long moment. "Gemma, I think, you should take advantage of any moment that presents itself as an opportunity. You dated Eddie because someone convinced you that you needed to. I'm telling you to do what your heart tells you to do. If you feel like you want to be his friend, be his friend. Don't live with regrets."

Live without regrets? If only, if only.