POISONOUS//lashton au

Seven

Sadly, the calmness Luke experienced on Thursday did not carry over to Friday. Because when he woke up on Friday, everything felt like it had before. Slow, pointless, and grey.

Everything felt like normal again. And the rest of the week and beginning of the following felt the same.

School, work, hanging out with Michael and Calum, everything was the same.

Then on Sunday, he went to his parents for dinner. It was the five of them. His parents, brothers, and himself. It was mostly quiet. Some small conversation amongst everyone but like usual, Luke was silent. He answered the questions directed at him, asked simple questions only when necessary, and smiled politely when required. Otherwise, he remained quiet. He also intended to keep the part of Ashton being back in town quiet. This would draw more attention and questions to him and he didn't want that.

When his mum started asking him questions, it became hard.

"So how has work been lately Luke?"

"Fine. Nothing new."

"And school?"

"That's fine too. I had a calculus test last week. I did pretty good on it."

"That's great. Anything interesting been going on?"

Of course, his first thought was Ashton. Of course that was something no one in the family mentioned. Hadn't been mentioned in two years. It was unnecessary and would only upset Luke. So that was an unspoken area.

All of Luke's family didn't think much of Ashton. When Luke first started dating him, they were all very questionable about it as Ashton was two years older than Luke. However as they got to know him, they realised he was a good person and he made Luke happy. They accepted him into theirs and Luke's lives, still were weary about them being alone, but they liked him. Until he left. Smashing Luke in every way possible. From there, Ashton was not among their favorites.

Knowing this, Luke decided not to mention Ashton.

Instead, he put on a fake smile and said, "Nothing."

No one believed Luke's fake smiles. But they never questioned him because he wouldn't answer. Truthfully anyways. They always asked him about it at first but he would always reply with, 'trust me. I'm fine.' or 'what are you talking about? I'm fine.' Of course, he wasnt, but after a while, they learned to go with it.

So his mum smiled and they continued on in silence.

After dinner, Luke headed to the bathroom. When he came back he was in earshot but not visible to his family when he heard his brother speaking.

"I saw Ashton." Luke stopped where he was. Jack saw Ashton.

There was a silence. Then in almost unison, a chorus of shocked murmurs coming from the three of them.

"What? When? Where?" His mum spoke in a hushed but still panicked voice.

"On Thursday. I was driving home and I saw him."

"In town? Did he see you?" This coming from his dad.

"Yeah in town but no. No I was driving and he was facing the other way but it was definitely him."

"Oh god. Do you think Luke knows?" She was silent for a moment. Luke didn't know if he should come back and pretend he hadn't heard anything or step out and inform them that he knew.

He ended up having the decision made for him. Ben stepped around the corner where Luke was standing. He jumped a little, obviously not expecting Luke to be standing right there. His mouth fell open as he looked at his brother and his bright blue eyes full of tears.

"Well if he didn't know before," he started to say, "he certainly knows now."

And suddenly Luke's entire family was surrounding him. At a distance, but still around him. His mum stepped forward and took his hands in hers.

"Luke, did you know?"

Luke finally met her gaze and he nodded.

"Yeah. I knew."

"Oh Luke. Why didn't you mention it?"

Luke shrugged his shoulders. "I guess I didn't really feel like talking about it."

"Have you talked to him? Has he said anything to you?" His dad asked.

"Has he seen you?" Jack asked.

"Yeah he's seen me but we haven't spoken. I don't want to talk to him either. But I also don't want to talk about this."

"Luke. You're crying."

Sure enough, he felt the dampness of his cheeks with his fingertips. He sniffled a little and looked down at his feet.

"I'm fine. Really. It's been three years."

His parents shared a look of concern then looked back to him.

"We're worried about you. It's clear that it hasn't been easy and you say you're fine but it's hard to-"

"Well of course I'm not fine! He left me! The first person I truly loved and the person who I thought loved me! He left me! With not even a real explanation! How could I possibly be fine after something like that?" There was a clear anger in Luke's voice. His body was shaking. His family all stepped back in shock.

"We're going to go." His brothers dismissed themselves and walked away leaving a shaken up Luke with his shocked and concerned parents.

At that moment, Luke took in a deep breath, looked away, then back at his parents. Then he realised he had no reason to be getting mad at his family. They had done nothing but supported and loved him and here he was yelling at them. His shoulder slumped and his eyes became sad again.

"Oh god. I'm so sorry. You guys didn't do anything and that was so horrible of me to yell at you like that I'm so so sorry."

Their faces softened with compassion. "It's okay. We don't blame you for that. We know that you must be hurting right now. I'm sorry Luke. About everything that's happened." His dad put a hand on his shoulder.

"We love you and just want to make sure you're okay."

Luke thought for a moment. These were his parents. They obviously loved and cared for him. So he decided to tell them the truth.

"I'm not." He shook his head profusely. "I'm really not and I've tried to be okay but it's just hard because I loved him and I thought he loved me too and what sucks the most is that I still love him and after seeing him again, it's brought up memories and they hurt. I hate it and I just wish i could forget it and forget him."

The silence following was a long one and Luke wanted it to end.  It did when his dad spoke.

"I am pretty sure that's the first time you've been completely honest about this whole thing. How are you feeling now?"

"Kind of like I want to hit something." Luke admitted.

"That's understandable. But don't hurt yourself. Okay?"

Luke nodded. "Okay. Thanks for dinner. I'm going to head home."

They both pulled him in for a hug before saying good bye.

"We love you Luke. Call if you ever need anything."

"Love you too."

Luke headed out the door and got into his car. On his way home, Luke thought about his parents. He thought about his brothers. His family. He thought about Michael and Calum, his best friends. He loved them. And if only for a brief moment, he thought maybe he could be okay.

~

I'm pretty bored. It's a boring night.

Anyways. Have a nice night. Hope it's less boring than mine.

Loooooove.

-Ash