POISONOUS//lashton au

Two

Neither of them moved. Neither of them seemed to really register what was happening. They both just stood there. Staring at each other from opposite ends of the street.

Luke closed his eyes for a moment then opened them again. But he was still standing there. He didn't look much different. He got a haircut. That was really the only difference that Luke could see. But Luke knew he looked different. He knew Ashton would look at him and immediately know that this wasn't the same Luke he knew three years ago. And the changes weren't something simple like a haircut. Luke looked tired. All the time. He didn't smile, his posture had become very closed in. Luke was unhappy and it was obvious. And it was obvious to Ashton who seemed to finally realize just exactly what was going on.

A lot could happen in 3 years. 3 years could go by really fast. Or really slow. For Luke, 3 years went by at an extremely slow pace. And 3 years ago, Luke had to watch as Ashton walked out of his life, and broke his heart. And since then, time seemed to have no meaning in Luke's life.

Then suddenly, the impossible became possible. Because time seemed to slow down. And suddenly 3 years didn't seem like that long and Luke felt two years of his life in only five seconds.

Two years worth of dates, cuddles, kisses, hugs, hand holding, and the one and only time he had ever experienced it, falling in love. Luke felt it all in what was the longest five seconds of his life.

Going back and feeling everything he had but had lost, was the worst pain he'd ever felt. It hurt more than when Ashton left him. It felt like he'd been punched in the gut. Slapped in the face. Like his heart had been pulled out of his chest and ripped apart. Again. Tears stung his eyes. Ashton became a blurry figure, with his tears temporarily blinding him. Luke squeezed his eyes shut allowing the tears to fall from his eyes. When he opened them, Ashton was still there. And he was still looking at Luke but Luke could see the pain in his eyes. And that made him want to laugh. Ashton shouldn't have been feeling pain. He was the one who broke Luke's heart. He was the one who decided to leave. He was the reason Luke hurt. But he was the one feeling pain. Luke frowned and finally turned away. If Ashton was feeling pain he couldn't blame it on anyone but himself.

The rain seemed to be falling faster. It fell quickly and heavily as it pelted Luke. He picked up his pace. He didn't care about the rain, he hardly even noticed it. But he had to get out of there. Tears filled his eyes and Luke took deep breaths, swearing he wouldn't cry until he got home.

Not much farther. So close to home but it felt miles away. Distances started feeling like time and all of a sudden he couldn't even seem to remember where he lived or where he even was. He couldn't get Ashton out of his mind. One of the last things Ashton had told Luke was one day he would understand why Ashton did what he did. But it was three years later and Luke still couldn't understand why Ashton did it. Luke was happy. And he thought Ashton was too. Yes they had been stressed. Ashton was getting ready to leave for college and Luke had just graduated. They were both growing up. Preparing for what was considered adulthood. In the end they had been stressed but Luke never would have guessed stressed enough for Ashton to leave him. Luke loved Ashton and Ashton loved Luke. At least, he said he did. That was the last thing Ashton had said to Luke but at that point, Luke had a hard time believing it.

And somehow, Luke ended up inside his house. He didn't remember getting there or even unlocking the door but he was inside and he was crying. He crashed to the floor, throwing everything down with him, his coffee spilling over his floor. His face was buried in his hands and he was sobbing. He didn't even bother trying to hold it back. He was alone. And he hurt. His heart hurt so bad.

What made him really angry was that Ashton looked hurt. As if Luke had done something to hurt Ashton. Luke hadn't done anything. Ever. They had fought a couple times but every couple does. Luke had always been supportive of Ashton; gave him space when he needed it, was there for him when he needed him, he was a good boyfriend. He loved Ashton with everything he had. Ashton had no reason to feel pain. It was his fault that they broke up. He was the one that decided it would be best for them. Luke did nothing. All he did was love Ashton while Ashton broke his heart.

Luke grew angry. What had he done to deserve that? He didn't even get a real explanation. In the three years that followed he asked himself more times then he could possibly count, why? There was no answer. Not one that Luke could get himself. In order to find the answer he needed Ashton to tell him. But he couldn't talk to Ashton. He didn't think he could possibly get through a conversation with him if he even wanted to. And he didn't. He wanted nothing to do with Ashton. He wanted to forget every memory he had with Ashton. Wipe him out of his life and mind for good.

Luke tossed back his head and ran his hands through his tangled blond hair and let out a strangled sob. He hated Ashton. He hated what Ashton did to him and he hated that he ever fell for him and he hated that Ashton loved him but most of all, Luke hated that he still loved Ashton.

~

Hello my friends.

Okay so I have a few important things to discuss.

1. As of today I will be posting this on AO3

2. As a warning for future chapters, if it seems like things are moving too fast it's only because if it didn't this would be super boring and I don't want it to get boring.

3. For the first time in 2 years I am officially not single and I couldn't be happier about it

And that's it

Love you guys

-ash