long gone (save me from this hell)

they say they're always there.

i could wander back into the arms of my family
who want to control me
keep me tied down
make me hate myself for everything i am

i could run back to days of vodka
my insides rotting behind closed doors
a blank sky serving as the only witness to my filth

or i could what i need to do
going back isn't a legitimate option

i'm smoking cigs and joints with kids who know
without words leaving the tip of my tongue

there is no one to stop me from anything

i am released
and i'm terrified