Love's Slave (manxman)

Chapter 8

Chapter 8

Jameel...

(Guest bedroom in El-Sayed home)

My heart was pounding so hard in my chest, I was sure that Kamal and his sister could hear it. The organ felt like it was going to come crashing through my breast bone at any moment. Embarassed, small, unworthy, and insignificant weren't close enough to describe how I was feeling.

Even wrapped in about quilt, I didn't even want to sit on the jeweled silk comforter covering the massive bed the siblings led me to.

Kamal had spent quite some time trying to reassure me that it was indeed alright to speak directly to his sister. So I had taken a deep breath before quietly answering her questions about my health the best that I could. When the verbal part of her questioning came to the physical aspects of my injuries, I once again looked towards Kamal and although his strong jaw was tightly clenched he nodded his head for me to continue.

It was extremely hard for me to speak about the private areas of my body to a woman. I didn't know if Yasmin was a married woman or not, but I guess as an educated woman and a physician, she is surely more knowledgeable than I was about these things, even if it's only textbook knowledge.

Again, my anxiety levels spiked and I shamefully lowered my eyes as I disclosed all the things Master had done to me over the years, and all the implements he had used to dole out my multiple punishments for my transgressions of the flesh, he had exclaimed. I explained how Master would leave me covered in my own blood, sweat, and his fluids until he chose to punish me again. He would then have Mahmood come and clean me inside and out, and the sadistic servant took pleasure in being as rough about it as he could be.

I had gotten to the part of my explanation of Mahmood's method of treatment for my open wounds and skin tears was to pour alcohol directly into the ripped flesh when I jumped and automatically reached for my veil. Kamal had suddenly surged to his feet and he quickly walked across the room. His stopped in front of the enormous window. His back was ramrod straight and his fists were clenched at his sides.

Another wave of shame washed over me, I had just met this man a few hours ago, and for some reason I felt like I couldn't cope or breathe unless he was close to me. It didn't matter to me that Kamal is the grandson of the man who turned me into the simpering broken mess that I am today.

Now he was upset on my behalf and I felt like he is wasting his energy to care about what has happened to me. Master had only proved how worthless I am and how utterly sinful and depraved I am for harbouring feelings of attraction for other men. It was a painful lesson to learn, but I had learned it, and I refuse for this good man to feel sorry for me.

Maybe I was reading too much into it? Maybe Kamal was just concerned about public learning about his grandfather having sex with another man, even if he used it to show me just how wrong sex between men are. Master had torn me to shreds each and every time he entered my body. He made sure to tell me that my hole is never meant to take cock the way it did and that made me the devil's spawn.

Kamal's sorrow wouldn't erase or cure the deviant that I am, or the lessons that Master had drilled into me over and over again. I can't remember a tie I didn't hear that hateful raspy voice cursing me for being a waste of Allah's infinite grace.

Yasmin's voice broke through my internal ramblings and my head shot up when she told me that she needed to examine my body for injuries or signs of infection. I drew back from her and my anxiety level spiked all over again, but this time it was to epic proportions as I recalled the exact state of my appearance at the moment.

It wasn't just about the rancid smell, it was also about the fact that I was so filthy from head to toe. My stomach knotted when I thought about all the ugly scars crisscrossing my skin from my neck to my ankles. Master's chosen weapon for correcting my transgressions was a thick leather whip. He would gleefully use it on me until my flesh as sliced open, dripping blood, and raw for weeks afterwards.