She's Not Afraid - A Louis Tomlinson Fanfiction

Chapter Thirteen

I pulled the duvet closer around my body to shut out the chill. My body responded almost immediately by heating up my low temperature by at least a few degrees. I smiled in pleasure and grabbed another piece of sweets from the white porcelain bowl in my lap. The sweet taste of white chocolate hit my tongue as I slipped the piece into my mouth.

I was sitting on the carpeted floor of my bedroom against the side of my bed, doing nothing else but eating my favorite chocolate and well, thinking (God, that sounded so cheesy). I had let the radio beside me blast its music in a hopeless try to let it drown the thoughts in my head, which seemed to never give me a break.

“Where did I go wrong? I lost a friend somewhere alone in the bitterness,” the radio played, quoting the known song of The Fray. Usually I would have wanted to finish hearing the song because I like it a lot, but of too many reasons I pressed a button and switched to a new channel. While being with Louis I had grown a love for the band—and not only did the song remind me of him, it also made me relate to the lyrics. Because honestly, when I asked myself how I ended up in the mess I was in, I couldn’t find the answer.

“Remembering him comes in flashbacks and echoes. I tell myself it’s time now, gotta let go,” the radio went on. “But moving on from him isn’t possible and I still see it all in my head. Burning red—”

It all got too much for me to take. I pulled the plug out from the outlet, turning off the radio within the moment. I sucked in a deep breath. Maybe listening to music hadn’t been the best way of trying to recover from Louis' abrupt …

But I still refused it. I refused to believe that we had broken up.

We couldn’t have.

But deep inside my heart, I knew it was the ugly truth.

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I can be tough, I can be strong

But with you it’s not like that at all

There’s a girl that gives a shit

Behind this wall

You just walk through it

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Just 72 hours ago I had been in heaven; not only had I been sleeping with him, but the emotional connection that had arisen between us from the very beginning of our relationship, was not something I could just forget of. Every time we touched and every time we kissed I felt my heart skip a beat. I couldn’t let it go, like it hadn’t meant anything to me to feel that way; it was simply impossible. He was unforgettable—and I was starting to wonder if I was ever going to get over him.

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And I remember all those crazy things you said

You left them running through my head

You’re always there, you’re everywhere

But right now I wish you were here

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I took a look at the phone in my in-quilted lap. The screen said that I had 14 missed calls from Jordan and 18 from Chloe; someone was missing me. I smirked a flimsy smile for a second before it quickly disappeared from my lips. There was an explanation to why I hadn’t answered my two best friends’ calls within the last three days: It was because I blamed them.