chapter fifteen

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I've never had mixed emotions like this, I wanted to yell at Nico for yelling at Paris like that but I felt terrible about the fact that he felt that way, that I was the reason he felt this way. I knew Paris could protect herself and the kids from the Russians but I was willing to do anything to have her back. I didn't even consider the fact that I was ripping the twins away from everything they ever knew. I needed to fix my relationship with Nico, I hated my father and it caused me so much unnecessary pain and I don't want that for him.

Everyone sat silent until Paris started sobbing, I tried to comfort her but she just walked upstairs. " I'm going to go check on Nico, you should go check on Paris" Jaylyn spoke as she stood up from her seat. " No, I'll talk to Nico can you make sure Paris is alright ?"I ask and she answers with a small nod. I walked into Nico's room with an unsettling feeling in my chest, he was sitting in the corner mumbling to himself. " Nico" I said making my presence known, his head snapped up and his eyes met mine. Looking at Nico was truly like looking into a mirror of my childhood self. I sat next to him on the floor while he just looked at me, "Nico what you did out there was very disrespectful, your mama is upstairs crying. Nico you really hurt her feelings" I said sternly trying to control myself. A tear ran down his face " I didn't mean to hurt Mama, I was just so mad" he said as he dropped his head to his knees. " I understand Nico, but your mama isn't the person you should be mad at, she wasn't the one who made you guys move... I was, and I'm sorry that you're feeling like this because of my greediness " I said as I rubbed his back. " why did you do that?" he asked as he lifted his head to look at me.

I let out a long sigh " Because I love your mama more than anything on this planet, other than you and your sister. I hate being away from her just like you and I was willing to do anything to bring her back home with me, I didn't consider how it would affect you guys" I said, disappointed in myself. " you love me?" was all Nico said, " yes Nico I love you " I answered his question. I've only had kids for the last 2 months and it's been the best and worst weeks of my life. I say worse because I've never been so on edge that something bad would happen to them. I'm super fucking glad that they haven't found the basement door, Paris would lose her fucking mind. It's tons of guns and weapons down there. " Nico, you're my firstborn and my son, I love you a lot. One day I will pass my entire empire over to you. " Is Mama going to love the new baby more than me?"  Nico said quietly. 

I picked Nico up and sat him on my lap, " Nico looks at me when I say this to you, your mama will never love anyone the way she loves you. She will love you and the baby equally the same way she loves you and Gabby equally, okay? " I said as he looked up at me and for the first time since I'd met my son, he genuinely smiled and nodded his head, and said "Okay papa".  I kissed Nico's head as I gave him a hug and he actually hugged me back. " you're not off the hook though Nico, you're going to go apologize to your mama. He lifted his head and stood up, "Will you come with me" he asked, leaving me in complete shock. I stood up and grabbed nicos hand " of course i will, I'll be here whenever you need me mio figlio" I said as I lead Nico out of the room and into the dining room. 

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