It hurts.
So much.
There is absolutely nothing anyone can do.
Not you,
Not me,
Not the doctors,
Not the prescriptions,
Not the illicit drugs,
Not the drinking.
Not the writing,
Not the screaming,
Not the harming.
How am I supposed to be a person when everything inside me is tumbling down like a house of cards.
What do I do when you pull the bow I've tied myself in so tight it cuts off parts of myself.
I can't breathe.
I can't sleep.
But god, am I exhausted.
How do I let people love me when I will never love myself.
I am nothing.
No one.
But when I say this all I hear are the empty arguments of the people around me.
It hurts.
So much.
I can't turn it off, believe me I've tried.
I don't want anyone to see me but I need everyone to so they understand.
You can not love me when you have not loved this.
Me.
Broken.
Unyielding in my own self destruction.
Cracked and fizzing out from all the jagged edges.
There is no beauty in my spiral.
No art,
No music,
No words.
It is violent.
It is messy.
It is harsh and cruel and mean.
I am all these things and worse. And I would protect you from this at all costs.
I don't want anyone to love me because I don't deserve to be loved.
Not at my core.
It hurts.
And it will never stop.
And eventually I won't have the strength to hide it at all.
Please make it stop hurting.
Please don't see what it does to me.
It hurts.
So much.
YOU ARE READING
No one is there
Poetrypoetry book. all the things I've written that I could never say out loud. Some topics may be difficult for some people so check for disclaimers .
