No one is there

❤️‍🩹

I've never been good at feeling "good" emotions.
I have the hard ones covered.
Anger, sadness, fear, grief...
But there it's so different to feel bright things.
Happy, safe, calm, love...
I worry that maybe I'm doing them wrong. Like I can't properly show or tell or express how much you mean to me.
Like because I am broken the feelings don't relay the same.
But when you stop me to tell me my eyes are the most beautiful things you've seen,
When you tell me that what I see in the mirror is what your happiness looks like,
When you just listen to me ramble for ever and when you can take naps because you feel safe.
Those moments always remind me that this is real.
That my cracks and breaks and past don't define what we have.
You still love me and still know I love you regardless of the wear and tear everyone else has put me through.
Hearing you care about me. Hearing you love me. Hearing you want and need me.
Those things are going to be what I remember.
In 10 years, or 100 years.
Together or apart.
The way you love me deserves to be immortalised.
Because I never want to forget these moments.
I don't want to share them with the world but I feel I have to. So I can be held responsible.
So I have the reminder.
That when I think no one loves me,
You did.
You do.
And I hope you always will.
Because I will always love you.
And that's the scariest thing for me, letting myself love you.
Because I know it will hurt eventually.