Punishment- Reader POV

Chapter 2

a/n warning mentions of rape/abuse

August 6th, 1996

It has been four days since Lucius. It has been four days since I have last talked to anyone besides the one-word conversations I had with my parents. Four days since I last left my room. I am stuck in a cycle of laying in bed and sitting up just to find my growing stack of letters, most being from Draco. I felt horrible for ignoring him but I have not worked up the courage to write back to him. His initiation was three days ago. He wrote to me right after, begging me to come over and I never answered. I could never tell him what happened the other day. The guilt of not being there for him when I knew he needed me most was eating away at me but I could not go back there, not until I was ready for it to happen all over again. I've contemplated writing back, telling Draco to come over to my house instead but how could I look him in the eyes and comfort him after knowing how I betrayed him? How I let his father touch me, and be my first. How I didn't fight hard enough to escape the situation. How I came at his touch, twice. Draco had so much on his plate, I would just be making it worse, I'm sure of it. Even if I wanted to write back to him, asking him to come over instead, that would mean opening the dozens of letters he sent over the past four days. Was he mad at me? Is he worrying? Did something horrible happen? I won't know unless I open them but for some reason this time is different, the unknown reality is less frightening than the truth. What if Draco wrote to me because he found out I let his father touch me? What if the letters were him telling me how badly I betrayed him at a time when he needed me the most? I couldn't face the truth. Not yet at least.

August 8th 1996

Today is back-to-school shopping in Diagon Alley. Today will be the first day I left the house in five days. I still haven't answered Draco but I know we're meeting up with them him and his family in Diagon Alley. The idea of seeing Lucius again makes my stomach churn but I don't have much choice.

"Y/n!" Your mother calls out while banging from the other side of the door. "Are you ready? We told the Malfoys we'd be there already it is rude to keep people waiting!" she scolds.

"Coming!" I call out and grab my list of supplies and run down the stairs. "Sorry, I couldn't find my list," I lie.

"What have I told you about being irresponsible," my father sneers.

"I know, I'm sorry, Father," I look down. My father is not an easy man to get along with, the only longlasting friendship I think he has had is with Lucius. That says more about my father than I think I can. My father grips my arm roughly and apparates us to Diagon Alley and my mother arrives two seconds after us. From there, I follow my parents as we make our way to meet up with the Malfoys. I look up and see him, Lucius, standing with his cane and a firm grip on Draco's shoulder, outside of Flourish and Blotts awaiting our arrival.

"So sorry we're late," my father starts as he rushes over and shakes Lucius's hands, the same hands that gripped my thighs and held me in place while he violated my body, the same hands I let violate my body.

"Don't be foolish," Lucius chuckles, shaking my father's hand, "We had only just gotten here, right Draco," Lucius says while hitting Draco in the arm with his cane. Draco keeps his gaze on the ground, not even looking up at me and he nods. Our mothers talk as if haven't seen each other in weeks, unaware of the tension between us all.

"All right, you two run along, get what is on your lists for school, and meet back when you're done, Lucius and I have some business to attend to but your mothers are staying back with you two, so they will be around if you need them," my father says handing me more than enough money to buy what I need for school before turning around with Lucius as they head towards Knockturn Alley. Without a word, Draco grabs me by my arm and drags me into Flourish and Blotts.

"Thanks for answering my letters, y/n, you're a real great mate, y'know, not like I needed you or anything," he says sarcastically before starting to grab what we need from the list off the shelves.

"I know" I sigh, "I am so sorry Draco, it's just-" I stop myself because how do I tell him what is going on without telling him who it is?

"Just what?" he asks still annoyed but this time he has a bit more worry in his voice.

"Got in trouble at home, for talking back," I lie, one day he can know the truth when he doesn't have this much on his plate.

"Oh? Well, you should've just written to me to tell me that, I was a bit worried until mum said she talked to your mum and said you're fine," he sighs.

"I'm sorry Draco, once we're back at school, it'll be easier, everything will, I promise," I try my best to smile. I couldn't wait to get back to school, I am always counting down the days but now more so than usual. I hated being home and now home is safer than going to Draco's. At school I can be me, I don't have to worry about every single thing. I can see my friends and not have to worry about disappointing my parents.

"I can't bloody wait to get back to school, father has been hounding me about the order from the Dark Lord and Mum has been so worried. My parents keep fighting and the only thing they can talk about without yelling is the wedding, father seems more excited about it than usual, and keeps talking about how great it'll be when you're officially a Malfoy," Draco sighs and we move through the shop picking out our textbooks. Every time Draco mentions his father I tense up. Draco and I never wanted this wedding to begin with, but now that his father started to take his anger out on me, the idea of becoming a Malfoy is even more sickening.

"We will figure a way out of that too Draco, I know it," I say trying my best to keep my voice from wavering. Draco gives me a small, sad, smile and we finish our shopping in silence. We both had so much to tell each other but we both knew this was not the time or the place.

"Let's get our uniforms next," Dracos says breaking the silence and leading us to Madam Malkin's. We go in and get a couple pairs of new robes, and have them fitted. We finish our shopping and head to Honeydukes to get some sweets. Draco and I each get a chocolate frog and walk around while we eat them, I carry our robes and Draco carries our textbooks.

"What do you suppose they went into Knockturn Alley for?" I ask Draco as I finish off my chocolate frog and toss my card of Dumbledore into the bin.

"Who knows, Father has been spending loads of his time in his study, more so than usual, which was already a lot, we hardly see him anymore, the only time he comes to talk to me is to ask if you're coming over, since when did he care so much," he rolls his eyes, ignorance is bliss.

"Oh?" my hands start to shake again but I take a couple of deep breaths before continuing, "I don't think I'll be coming over for a while Draco, but you can come to mine," I try my best to not be too suspicious and keep my gaze at the ground.

"Well you'll be there tonight," Draco smiles, "Father told me that we're having your family over for dinner tonight after shopping, did they not tell you?" Draco looks at me puzzled. I could not believe it, how could they not have told me? My brain starts to turn to mush and all these thoughts begin to flood my head. Lucius probably plans on getting me alone with him. How can I go and make sure to avoid any chance of being stuck with him? I feel a sweat coming on and my breaths get shorter and shorter. It feels as if I am being choked and it is harder and harder to swallow, my mouth and throat feel so dry I might choke. I wobble a little from the dizziness and drop the robes. I hear a heavy thud on the cobblestone before Draco grabs me and slowly sits me on the pavement, saving me from collapsing onto the hard ground. Stars flood my vision and then it all goes dark.