Punishment- Reader POV

Chapter 11

CW- rape/implied rape, eating disorder/weight loss, abuse

February 11th, 1997

It has been over a month since I had last seen Lucius. It has been over a month since I found myself waking up in Professor Snape's room. It was strange not seeing him. I would have thought that the lack of meetings would ease some of my anxieties but they just worsened. I knew I would see him again soon enough and the waiting was unsettling. I had no idea how that would even go. Would he be mad at me and say it was all my fault? Or would he apologize? My grades are beginning to drop and my professors have all seemed to notice. I haven't been much like myself lately and I am starting to worry I never will be me again. My relationship with Draco is the worst it has ever been in all the years we have known each other. It breaks my heart but he just cannot know the truth, it'll ruin him. I just knew he would blame himself, there was always a part of him that felt it was his responsibility to care for me. We had always taken care of each other but he always took the role to be there for me. For him to know his own father did what he would be devastated. It has been such a strange couple of weeks it almost doesn't even feel real. Ever since Lucius left me on the cold dungeon floor for Professor Snape to deal with, Snape and I have spent a lot more time together. We talked a lot over tea and it was nice being cared for it just did not help when it came to my unrelenting crush on him. I keep waiting for it to fizzle out but the more and more time I spend with him the more I fall for him. The only two people I have actually talked to these past few weeks were Valentina and Professor Snape. I fixed myself up and went off to class. I haven't eaten a meal in the Great Hall with everyone in a long time. I would hardly ever eat if I did not start having dinner with Snape in his office every night. I skipped breakfast as usual and went off to charms. Charms went by quickly. We learned how to do non-verbal casting which seemed to be the most useful thing I have learned in a long time. I had arithmancy next and I was falling so far behind. We had potions before lunch and I could not wait. I had loads of studying to get done during lunch to catch up in my classes. I sat with Valentina in potions as usual. She stirred in a few more ingredients before whispering to me, "Are you going to come to lunch today? We have quidditch practice later and last time you were woozy."

"I might, but I have so much studying for arithmancy I've fallen so far behind I won't pass my exams."

"I'll help you study later," she sighed, "You're getting too thin I am worried about you," she whispered. She seemed nervous to bring this up. I had lost quite a bit of weight. All my clothes absorbed my body. I tried to pretend I did not care because the truth was I was beginning to love it. I loved feeling frail. I loved feeling like I was going to pass out during practice. It felt almost like the only thing I had control over.

"Enough chatter you two, keep it up and you'll be spending your weekend scrubbing cauldrons in the dungeon with Filch," Professor Snape up at us and we both shut up quickly. Lucky for me his threat bought me some time to figure out what to say to her. We spent the rest of the class working in silence. When the bell rang we got packed up and headed for the door. As soon as I stepped out I saw him coming down the hall toward the class. Lucius.

"Fuck," I muttered to myself and looked to Valentina who stood there also shocked.

"Let's go," she grabbed my wrist and pulled me down the hall towards the Great Hall.

"Wait." Lucius moved himself to block our way shamelessly. "I came to talk to you, Y/n, may I steal a minute of your time," his kind facade was nauseating.

"No you can't we have to go eat lunch," Valentina stood a bit in front of me protectively.

"Why do you never mind your business you pathetic little blood traitor," he sneered at Valentina. "This is important it's a message from her father," he spat at her. I swallowed hard, he could not even pretend to be a decent person for even a minute. Valentina looked at me and I nodded.