Punishment- Reader POV

Chapter 18

I pushed around my remaining chips, we sat across each other at his kitchen table. I had to admit that I quite enjoyed knowing this is where he grew up, it makes it feel more intimate like I am becoming closer to a hidden side that he does so well with keeping to himself. It felt special.

"Professor?"

"Hm?" Snape looked up from his dinner to meet my curious eyes.

"What happened, that night I mean? Draco was in no condition to speak of it but I was just, erm, wondering if there was anything you could tell me?"

He took in a deep breath and nodded, sitting up straighter in his seat, "Well, I think you should know that the plan went mostly according to plan, Harry disarmed Dumbledore, and well Draco was ready to kill him, he just couldn't, which was no surprise to me, that is why I followed them that evening. I killed Dumbledore but you cannot tell anyone, Draco was so upset that he could not bring himself to do so. He felt weak, understandably so, so just remember when you are talking to Valentina or whoever else it may be in The Order that you say Draco killed Dumbledore."

"Oh... I am happy he was not the one. A curse like that would have destroyed him, he is not as tough as he acts."

"You don't think I know that? He is weak, he does not have the strength to carry a burden like that, how he does not collapse under the pressure every day is beyond me."

"Well he is not weak," I snap, "I mean he is just not strong in that sort of way. He would not have been able to handle the weight of the task's pressure if he was weak. He is just not evil."

"Oh? And I am?" His stare was fixated on me. I wanted to shrink away. This conversation had seemed to slip out of my control.

"That is not what I meant and you know that," I sighed looking down at my mushy peas to escape his stare but I could feel it burning through my head.

"So what was it that you meant?"

"That Draco is not like you! He is not like his parents either!" I was exasperated, tears prickling my eyes, "He is a victim of the family he was born to, he is not cruel or cold-hearted, he cannot just let casualties be casualties for the result of some stupid plan that may never even work!" Tears were streaming down my face.

"Y/n... please just take a deep breath," Snape suggested, worried I was about to spiral into another of my infamous panic attacks.

"You take a deep breath!"

"We can both take a deep breath," he sighed grabbing my hands, rubbing small gentle circles at the tops of my wrists before guiding me through a few deep breaths.

"Sorry," I mumbled, looking down at my feet.

"I am also sorry, I did not mean for it to seem as if I was talking ill of the boy, I just meant he does not possess that type of strength."

"Okay," I sniffled and watched my feet shuffle in place.

"Why don't I show you where the shower is so you can get washed up for bed,"

"Can I sleep with you?"

"W-What?" Snape choked on his words.

"I mean like in your bed, I do not want a room to myself, I would like to share a room, a bed, with you."

"Oh, right, of course," he nodded and guided me to the bathroom.

May 20th, 1997

Ten days had gone by since my arrival, Snape and I had grown comfortable in each other's presence finding a sort of ease in the silence between us, the awkwardness that came with a lack of conversation only lasted a few days. We were content with each other's company, no longer trying to come up with something to say, we now took our time reading, kissing, and going out to restaurants. He even taught me how to work his old television but he did not seem too interested in watching anything that was on, I found it fascinating.