Punishment- Reader POV

Chapter 7

CW- Mentions of rape, and manipulative behavior

September 13th, 1996

I spent the entirety of lunch lying in bed. I felt the dirtiest I have ever felt after a meeting with Lucius. I was still in disbelief that the idea of Lucius being Professor Snape made it all less horrible. Unfortunately, it was almost a little enjoyable, but that was making me feel absolutely vile. How could something feel so good in the moment and then make you feel like complete and utter shit as soon as it ends? It wasn't like I was drooling over him during class and having an innocent crush. To think of him while Lucius does whatever he feels like to me was so wrong, especially after how nice Professor Snape has been to me during this time. How will I ever be able to look him in the eyes again? What would I do if he ever found out? Oh my god. What if Lucius ever found out? It seemed to be that no amount of time was enough for me to get my thoughts sorted out. Before I knew it it was time to leave for my afternoon classes and then it would finally be time for quidditch trials.

All my afternoon classes flew by, not to say that I was that focused but I tried to be. The only thing that seems to be important enough to distract me from Professor Snape is quidditch. I have been practicing day and night but I am still so nervous. Valentina, Draco, and I walked from the last class to trials all together. Neither of them were worried as they made the team last year and didn't feel like anyone was a threat to their positions. For me on the other hand, I felt like I could throw up on the spot. They kept trying to motivate me and hype me up but I could barely hear. It felt as if there was a bee buzzing around, my ears were ringing. When it was my turn I got on my broom and did the drills but I can hardly remember any of it. After I finished I waited on the side with Draco and Valentina and listened to them gush about how great I did and how I was definitely going to get a spot on the team. It was so hard to listen to them when all I could feel was my stomach churning. I used to never get nervous about anything until Lucius came into my life. He managed to make everything unenjoyable. I felt so sick and dizzy from having skipped lunch. I sat between Draco and Valentina and buried my head between my knees and focused all my attention on my breathing. They were almost ready to tell us who made the team I just had to stick it out and then I could go get something to eat.

"Y/n for the position of chaser," the captain's voice breaks you from your focus, "Valentina for the position of beater, and Draco for the position of seeker," the captain speaks, "Thank you to everyone else who tried out, please try out again next year." I couldn't believe it, I made the team.

"What did I say!" Valentina beams.

"Told you you would make it!" Draco smiles big. I haven't seen him so happy in a long time.

"I know... I can't believe it," I was grinning like an idiot but I couldn't help it, this had been a dream of mine since I was a little girl. I know I could never go pro but to be able to play was going to be so much fun. It would be my outlet.

October 12th, 1996

The past few weeks were as normal as they were going to get. I have gotten used to meeting with Lucius. I have still continued to imagine it being Professor Snape. I tried to imagine other guys around school like Blaise or Theo but it was almost worse. I have been short with Professor Snape, he definitely noticed something about me was off but I have been doing my best to avoid that conversation. What would I even tell him? Do not worry about me Professor, I am quite alright, Lucius is the same I can handle him now because I pretend he's you and find it almost enjoyable. I groaned as I rubbed my eyes, it was time to get up or I would miss lunch and I couldn't, I needed my strength. Today was the first game of the year. It's a Saturday so I slept through breakfast as I always did. The game was not too long after lunch so I threw on my quidditch jumper and braided my hair before heading down to eat. Valentina and Draco were already there chatting with everyone. I ran over and sat with them and started to eat my sandwich and crisps.