Punishment- Reader POV

Chapter 13

CW- rape/abuse implied, forced pregnancy, abortion talk

April 2nd,1997

Draco and I have been spending loads of more time together, I started to eat breakfast and lunch and most dinners with everyone again. I had been slowly gaining weight and luckily enough my morning sickness had been much better with the potions from Madame Pomfrey. I have still been seeing Lucius, but, we don't have sex lately. When I am with him I lie about feeling ill, it is not much of a lie because he does make me feel ill but I pretend it is from the baby which he is so happy about he does not feel the need to rape me anymore. Draco and I have decided to make it look like we were a proper couple at school and I have been lying to Lucius about having sex with him until we come up with a more fool-proof plan.

We had a test today in potions. Draco handed in his test first like usual and I noticed Professor Snape whispering something to him that made him turn a sickly shade of green. I rushed through the rest of my exam and brought it up.

"You and Draco need to stay after class," he mumbled inconspicuously.

"Yes, Sir," I whispered and sat back down at my desk. I felt my stomach churning. What was it this time? I hope it was not another Death Eater meeting. The remainder of class dragged on.

The class emptied out and Draco and I remained seated at our workstations. Professor Snape waved us over to his desk. We nervously shuffled over.

"I was at a meeting with The Order and we all decided that due to Draco's order from the Dark Lord, it would be best if you two joined The Order so we could make a better plan to fix it all." A wave of relief washed over me. I nodded and looked over to Draco who seemed to have a bit of a hard time processing it but in the end agreed. For the first time ever I felt as if things were going to work out.

April 12th, 1997

The Shrieking Shack at four. The Shrieking Shack at four. The Shrieking Shack at four. Professor Snape told Draco and me to meet him at the Shirkeing Shack at four for him to take us to the meeting. I paced around my dormitory nervously since everyone was gone. Valentina was already with Sirius; she had left late last night, and everyone else went to the library to study before the break. I tried to study to distract myself but it was no use. My nerves would not calm until we got to the meeting and found out what they were planning. Draco's life is on the line but I know he is not their top priority. Knowing Professor Snape would die if anything happened to Draco used to make me feel better knowing someone had to care enough but now it only made me feel worse knowing I could lose them both. If Draco died would Lucius try and marry me? Would he want to raise the baby as his publicly? My thoughts kept racing.

Draco and I met up with Snape at the shack. Neither of us said a word on our walk there. Professor Snape apparated us out of Hogsmeade and right outside of headquarters. I felt my stomach churn at the sight. I could not stop myself from thinking of all the things that happened that night before I ended up here. I couldn't help but think about what would happen if I stayed and didn't get away from him. The torture, the force, the rape, all replaying in my mind. Draco could sense my unease and he took my hand, giving it a comforting squeeze. I tried my best to smile at him as we followed Snape into the house.

"Y/n!" Valentina greeted me with a hug and then took me and Draco with her to the table. I sat between Valentina and Draco and played with my hands in my lap.

"Voldemort ordered Draco to kill Dumbledore," Professor Snape proceeds to tell everyone about how Draco's task is really just Lucius's punishment for his failures at the ministry.

"So Dumbledore has to die regardless because Voldemort wants the Elder wand," Lupin says, "So I think it is best for Harry to kill Dumbledore, leaving him the owner of the wand so when he does face Voldermort he has the best chance he is going to have."

"But I don't want to kill Dumbledore!" Harry snapped.

"It is either you kill Dumbledore, get the wand, and fight the Dark Lord or Draco kills Dumbledore and the Dark Lord kills Draco and he gets the wand letting both Dumbledore and Draco die, and then wiping you out and destroying the entire Wizarding World," Professor Snape stepped in. Harry didn't say anything he was too busy thinking to himself. Draco shot Harry a look.

"Fine," Harry said quietly, "How long do I have?"

"He is becoming impatient with Draco so I would say early May is the latest," Snape said. Harry just nodded in return. I heard Draco let out a giant sigh of relief. Everyone continued talking and planning it all out for a little while longer. As everyone got up to leave Professor Snape gave me a stern look.

"Sit." He ordered and I stayed put but my confusion was evident.

"Relax," he mumbled to me but before I could ask any questions Valentina, Sirius, Professor Lupin, and Draco who had left to go talk to Harry sat back down at the table. I looked at everyone and then down at the cup of chamomile in front of me.

"So," Valentina starts, "We're going to make a plan to get you out of your situation."

"What?" I looked at her wide-eyed.

"Valentina and I thought it would be a good idea so we talked to Professor Snape and he said we could all think together and get you out of the situation with my father," Draco explained.

"Draco..." I sighed and looked down.

"We're here to help you," Lupin says earning a nod from everyone around.

"Okay well thank you, I appreciate it I really do but there is nothing you can do, Lucius wants me to have the baby so it's too late."

"Professor Snape can make a potion for you to abort the baby," Draco adds.

"Yeah and then you can wait and tell Lucius you lost it," Valentina says.

"But what if he finds out?" I worry.

"It's just a risk you will have to take," Sirius sighs, "Unless you want to have Lucius's baby, it is your only option."

"Okay..."

"Is there anything else that we can do to help you?" Professor Lupin asks. I shake my head no.

"No, thank you though," I try my best to smile but what if Lucius is upset that I lost it and still gets mad?

"He cannot be mad, Y/n, act very excited for the baby so when you 'lose it' he will not be suspicious," Draco reassures.

"Okay... thank you," I smile at them all awkwardly and everyone chats before getting up. I went into the bathroom to take a few deep breaths but there was a knocking at the door.

"Y/n? May I come in?" I heard Professor Snape's voice on the other side of the door.

"Erm, yeah." I opened the door and moved to the side letting him in and watching as he closed it behind him and flicked the lock making my heart flip, why was I thinking about that right now?

"Are you alright? We didn't want to bombard you but we thought it was best since you keep refusing our help."

"I'm okay just still worried. I think once I abort the baby I will feel a bit better, it is just hard I never know how Lucius will react."

"I understand but you have all of us as support. We only push you to make the decision you want to make because we all love you."

"You what?!" I must have heard wrong. Snape looked as if he was cursing himself but it was too late, there was no going back.

"Yes." His face was only inches apart from yours, "I do love you, Y/n." I wanted to grab his face and kiss him. I closed up almost all of the remaining space between us. Our lips practically brushed against each other. We lingered there for a couple of seconds before he straightened himself up. "This is wrong. You're already so hurt and confused and I am making it worse, my apologies, let me know when you're ready and we can go back to school." He quickly shuffled out of the bathroom. Fuck. I should've just kissed him. I spent the next ten minutes beating myself up. If that was my only chance I fucked it up. Why didn't I just kiss him?