You know what kills a person to nside it's when the person whom you care about the person whom you love is drifting away from you.
Yes I said it I love I fucking love suhaana.. but this this distance is killing me on the inside.
I want to help her ,I want her close to me..I want to be there for her..but she needs time..maybe everything is tiring her out maybe everything is scaring her..
But the one thought that I am tiring her out is piercing my heart. But if me being hurt is what it takes for her to be even the slightest bit better then I am ready.. I am ready to go through this pain.
I have been sitting at her door for the past 4 hours. The muffled sobs.. silent screams...her mumbling..I can hear everything.
We are so close yet so far away.. it's aching..my heart is aching..I can't see her like this..I just can't... I want to be there for her..I don't want to be like everyone left her alone.
Why don't I know what to do..why are you like this Raj..
SUHAANA SINGHANIA POV:-
This this..is suffocating me...these memories..the fear of being left all over again.
I am already broken enough aur nahi jhel skti mei. I work my ass off every single day so I don't feel anything.
She went but took my soul with her..I have been living in absolute hell ever since she is gone..
This family..Raj..they are they are making me feel things. I can't do this..
What if I get pushed into that loop again what if I fail and disappoint everyone again..what if I loose them and myself too...
I should...end things..I need to..I need to get away from him..this family everyone..
I have been sitting on the floor resting my head at the door since the last hours..
Numb..this is what I am feeling. These flashbacks and memories have ended me.. I am tired..tired of staying strong..
I looked up at the ceiling and said "Just take me with you.. please take me with you..nahi ho raha mujhse ye sab aur..thak gayi hu mei..apne aap se.. zindagi se..sab se.. please.. "
Why are they doing this to me..kya itni buri hu mein...please..aur nai ho raha mujhse
I am tired of everything..
AUTHOR'S POV:-
Both of them were hurting..badly.. suhaana because of her tangled past and Raj because of seeing the person be loves broken.
Her every tear was like a knife to his heart. He wants to hug her , console her, be there for her..tell her that he..loves her.
He forgot the meaning of love, it was like a part of him died but suhaana..she unknowingly made him feel just alive.
He waits the whole day for their bickering. He may be cold but his family taught him how to treat a girl.. 'his girl'.
Raj pushed all his thoughts away and called Tara.
RAJ RAGHUVANSHI POV:-
I pulled myself together and called her bestfriend Tara. I asked her about her likings and dislikings. First she wasn't agreeing to tell me as she said that it's Suhaana's privacy.
Argh idea, "you are right but you know samay has been really stressed he doesn't like seeing his bhabhi sad " i said in hopes to see this work.
"Argh fine" she finally agreed and told me everything. I was taking notes in a freaking pink unicorn diary as it was the only one I could find spare in my sister's room.
I looked at everything and started with the preperations.
I was setting everything up while the youngsters helped me. "Bhaiya bhabhi ke liye itna sab huhhh" "bhai Mera toh tu birthday bhi bhul gaya tha " "bhaiyaa itna pyaar huhhh " "ufff mein mar jawann " teased the youngsters and samay.
I called Tara over and sent her to Suhaana's room. Suhaana opened the door and I caught a glimpse of her.. Her puffy eyes, blank face, messed up hair.. it broke my heart.
Tara went inside and the door got shut again.
AUTHOR'S POV:-
Raj did everything he could and made sure that suhaana doesn't come out of the room. He did everything himself while the youngsters and samay only helped with supplies.
They all were awestruck seeing their big brother like this. They never thought that they will be able to see this side of him ever again. And they couldn't be happier.
Tara forced suhaana out her room making her wear this dress.
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Suhaana was too tired to protest or say anything anymore she just say blankly in the car.
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Soon Raj came in and started driving. Suhaana just closed her eyes sitting there.
Raj opened her window making the cool wind relax her.
Soon they reached a place. Suhaana looked around in confusion and asked " You are here to leave me it's okay I will- " before she could complete her sentence Raj turned off the car's headlights and made her turn towards the field
