It's Always Been You

Acid Fog

(Y/ns pov)
I wish i could talk to someone about Bellamy but my sister and I never talked about that stuff and Finn still thinks I hate Bellamy and I don't have the energy to try and explain it to him right now Jaspers moans kept me up most of the night which sucked Bellamy said we needed to go on a hunting party Finn Clarke and Wells were in a group Me Bellamy and Atom along with Miller and a few other guys were in a group Finn wanted me to come with them but Bellamy insisted I go with him because of my accuracy Finn reluctantly agreed.

Sometime had passed and I saw a bore that I was going to kill but Bellamy said the it was his but he missed and spooked it so it ran then we heard a snap behind us when we turned we saw charlotte the youngest one here she was 12 while the rest of us were 16-23 if you count Bellamy "charlotte what are you doing out here?" Bellamy began and she seemed like she wanted to cry "that guy the one that's hurt I couldn't listen to him anymore I had to leave." Bellamy understood that and handed her a knife but before she could use it we heard a horn of some sort and when we looked to see where it was coming from I saw yellow fog coming straight for us we took off towards a cave that Bellamy found I shoved charlotte inside then went in after her Bellamy following behind me I thought Atom was behind us but I may have been wrong.

"Y/n what did you get locked up for?" Charlotte asked me how do you tell a child that you assaulted a guard because they insulted your father you can't so you lie "oh I stole some extra food for Finn because he didn't get enough and was low on nutrients." She smiled "you're a really great friend to him y/n if you ask me I think you both would be perfect together." I just smiled and she passed out not long after "you lied to her why?" Bellamy questioned "how do you tell a kid you assaulted someone?" Bellamy shrugged "but she's right you know about you and Finn being perfect for each other."

No no she's not I don't want Finn I wanted Bellamy was that to much to ask? Why did everyone ship me and Finn we were never going to happen ever "when will everyone stop saying that he's got a girlfriend Raven."  Bellamy looked up at me "so that doesn't mean anything he looks at you with that look in his eye the look of love." I shook my head "no Bellamy he doesn't Finn and I will always be friends and that is it I don't want to talk about this anymore." As much as I felt guilty for saying it all I wanted was Bellamy but I knew he'd never want me he sleeps with different girls every night and it makes me Jealous but I can't get mad because he's not mine.

"Okay fine let's talk about the kiss between us." Part of me didn't want to but I knew I had to "what about it?" I questioned "I want to know how it made you feel." I can't tell him the truth "if you want me to say that it made me want to sleep with you like every other girl here then I won't because i don't." That was true and I didn't actually have to tell him how I felt about him "no y/n I asked how it made you feel." Should I tell him? I can't! "Okay uhm like I paid off a debt." I knew what he was thinking "debt to what?" To him of course "to you from the last time I saw you." He shook his head "is that really the only reason you kissed me?" He seemed heart broken "no I guess not but what did you feel?" Please tell me you felt the same thing I did "y/n I felt like I wa-" he was interrupted by charlotte screaming.

I woke her up "hey hey Charlotte its okay." She shook her head "do you get nightmares often?" Bellamy asked she nodded "what about?" I tried to comfort her but she didn't speak "you know what it doesn't matter do you still have that knife I gave you?" She nodded and pulled it out "good now whenever you get scared I want you to grip ahold of it and say screw you im not afraid." She did that "with more feeling." She did it again "good slay your demons when you're awake and they can't get to you when you're asleep." She smiled and fell asleep again with the knife in her hand I looked at Bellamy "you're good with her." He just smiled "anyways you were saying about how the kiss made you feel?" He looked up at me "oh uhm it made me feel like I was back on the ark looking at the stars and earth with you again." I smiled I missed those days "is that good or bad?" I questioned him "good y/n because I really like you but i know that you don't like me back." That's not true! I did "I never said that Bellamy." I did want Bellamy I've wanted him since I was 13 even when I was with his best friend I wanted him "you don't have to Y/n I see the way you look at him." Does he mean Finn? "Look at who Bellamy?" He shook his head "I think you know." I stood up and walked over and sat in front of him "Bellamy Finn and I are just friends alright nothing more." He didn't look at me this time "then tell me that you want me too y/n. Because the truth is I've wanted you for years and I was planning on asking you to be my girlfriend but you got locked up before I could." He was that's so cute "wait really?" He nodded "Bellamy I can't give you the answer you want right now but give me some time and I might be able to okay." Part of me wanted to kiss him but I knew I couldn't "okay but in the mean time you're freezing here." He took his jacket off and gave it to me I put it on and laid down my head was on his lap and I fell asleep pretty fast.

So this story is growing fast the thing about y/n not telling Bellamy is because she feels like she needs to talk to someone about it and so she can't give him the answer he wants I hope it all makes sense. Anyways till next chapter my loves <3