Insomnia [Stray Kids FF]

ㄴChapter 3ㄱ

Your body starts shaking and gets sweaty, but the sleeping pills won't let you escape from sleep!

You turn hectically on your left side to wake up, but when it doesn't help you turn right. Now you're turning constantly around, out of fear you start kicking into the air. Finally the effect weakens, slowly you wake up, but your eyes won't open. You want to light up the room, but you can't move. Slowly your eyes open and a feeling of dizziness appears. Three times it feels like you would tip over in the bed, but you can't fall. In the next moment you can hear a high pitched tone in your right ear. Your shock rigidity decreases and you can finally light up your room.

You look at your phone, it's 3 a.m. and you think what to do now. You have enough from sleep for tonight and didn't want another torture. That's why you decide to make some tea. You stand up and walk to your kitchen. While you wait for the water to boil you watch your favorite YouTube channel.

Soon your tea is finished and you sit down at your table. While you drink your tea you think about everything that happened the last years. Nothing special, only the psychological terror that you can't say where it comes from.

After you finish drinking your tea, you go back to your bed and lie down. Just like every night you lie there and just stare into the black, while you here and there get a panic attack, because lights or figures pop up in front of you.

The next morning you stand up normally and make your morning routine. Just as you grab your business bag you realize, that you don't need to go there today. The only thing you do is grabbing your laptop and sending an email with the certificate to your boss and after that you lie back down.

*ring* *ring*

Your phone rings and you answer it: "Hello?"

"Hello, doctor Kim here. Am I speaking to y/n?"

"Yeah, hello doctor Kim!"

"Listen, I have some free time in about an half hour. Can you come?"

"Sure, I'll be there!"

"Okay, see you."

"See you!"

Doktor Kim hangs up and you stand up to make your way to her practice. The way seems longer than yesterday, but since you ran yesterday it probably is because of that. Soon you reach it and ring the bell next to the door and it opens.

"Hello", the unfriendly woman from yesterday opens. 

"Hello, I have an appointment with doctor Kim.", you say professionally, hiding your anger towards her. 

"She has her lunch break. You must be mistaken.", she answers coldly and locks you out again.

You can hear an angry woman shouting inside, who you assume is doctor Kim. The door opens and the Mrs. Unfriendly runs out, then doctor Kim screams her afterwards: "I will cancel your contract! Don't you dare to come back here!". Then she looks at you and smiles: "Hey y/n, I'm sorry. Come inside!"

"Don't worry, it's alright."

"Actually it's not, because of her I'm losing my patients!"

"I'm sorry for that."

"No need, ah wait, I shouldn't trouble you with my problems. Now it's time for you!"

You smile gratefully at her.

"Sooo, how did you slept last night? Did the sleeping pill help you?"

As you think about what happened the night you start shaking.

"Okay calm down, y/n. I only want to help you and to make it work you need to be strong. Just for a little moment."

You take three calm breathes and the shaking slowly stops. A big tear escapes your eye and you shake your head out of embarrassment. Slowly you start explaining about what happened last night and doctor Kim's view got more and more serious. You finish explaining and she is still busy writing everything down.

She looks at you and asks: "I know, you are not in a good state right now, but I need to ask you a few questions, too be sure I'm going to do the right thing for you."

"Sure, go ahead.", you nod.

"Do you have friends at the moment with who you meet up with or family that supports you?"

"Yeah, I have friends and family, that support me a lot. But they life far away from here, I moved abroad right after I graduated from school."

"So why did you do that?"

"Probably to get away from everything that happened when I was younger. I got bullied from kids, like I told you yesterday the relationship to my grandmas wasn't that well and the divorce from my parents. I mean I'm fine with them being divorced, but I just wanted to see something else than always changing between these two houses every second weekend. To be honest, since I'm away from home, I feel much more like a free human being, but I miss my family and my best friends so much!"

"Oh well, that sounds like you run away from yourself. Ever thought about that?"

"Yeah, that was the sense between this action. I wanted to get some distance between everything and after a year I wanted to go back, but as you can see I'm still here. Apart from my mental problems I'm feeling well here and found a wonderful place to work at, I don't want to go."

"That's nice to hear, that you're feeling here at home. But to be honest with you, I think your psyche has reached a higher level of a mental illness together with a depression, that as well comes from the insomnia you have!"

"Okay, I mean, I don't know how to react.", you say speechless.

"That's normal for affected patients. I have to  let you go to a psychological hospital!"

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Authors note

Hope you all like the book until now <3

Have fun reading on  : )

(Words: 995)