Ed had an idea which is scary! He decided he needed to do something about Tom Felton and CARROTS! “UGH” he cried he was frustrated, so frustrated that is ******BEEP*BBBBEEEEEEEEEPPP* and then Eddie boy*******BEEEP BEEP* with a BBBEEEEPPP****** INTO HIS **********BEEEP. He knew then what he had to do. Ed did a murderously saucy catwalk to his stalker computer located next to the pac-man game so he could keep his toes occupied. He went to a dating site that has free wall pics. He knew Carrots was on there for sure. Now if you didn't know already, Ed is a self proclaimed PROFESSIONAL CATFISH. Or at least, that's what his belly button piercing said. Anyway, Eddie Betty was deciding who he should use as a profile. He knew it had to be someone more attractive than Tom Felton. Then he figured it out.
NAME: Flynn Rider
AGE: 35 (Carrots likes them older men)
HEIGHT: taller than you probably
LIKES: U ;3
DISLIKES: TOMS UGH
Perfection. “YYYAAAAASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS” he exclaimed. Ed was very excited! Then Ed searched Carrots profile.
NAME: Carrots Pal
AGE: 14
HEIGHT: Shorter than Nutty
LIKES: Fictional characters and fanfics
DISLIKES: Good movies
He sent her a request and then waited there for two days toeing the pac-man machine. But, Finally after his long wait she accepted!
Flynn (Ed): WOULD U LIKE TO SEES ME TOES PIERCINGS
Carrots: no thanks
Flynn (Ed): I feel like there was something I needed to do?
Carrots: was it laundry?
Flynn (Ed): no but u need to do laundry puuuurrr pur ppppuuuuur pur
Carrots: I NEED TO DO LAUNDRY!
And just like that the plan was set in motion.
Later, Ed knew that Carrots would be at the lair because it's also a laundromat. Just as Carrots was throwing her Moulin Rouge shirt collection into the washing machine, Ed stealthily and seductively walked over towards Carrots with no shoes or socks on because of his overgrown toenails. Once he was close enough to breathe down her neck, he began to sing, “When your legs don't work like they used to before…” and snapped her legs in half. With his hands still on her dislocated knees he launched her limp body into the washing machine, turned it on and said, “I HAVE TO CLIP MY TOENAILS” and so he left. And just like that, she was dead.
A few moments later, a boy came out of the ceiling tile and ran to Carrots dramatically. He was a blonde boy who looked like he played football wearing a FROST VALLEY sweatshirt. His name was Hamson. Hamson was Carrot's first ex boyfriend that wasn't named Tom. He pulled Carrot's partially grinded up body out of the washing machine and they sat on a platform with amazing lighting in the laundromat. “COUGH wwaaaahh ugh oh’ COUGH I thi…thi…………..think I’m dying.” Carrots said as Hamson embraced her. Hamson replied, “That's a major L moment” then his gum fell out of his mouth onto her face and he picked it up and put it back in his mouth. He ungracefully dragged her outside (yikes). Hamson was tip-toeing to the alley next to the building as Ed played a tiny piano effect in the corner while drooling. Hamson was almost there. “Qah gah wasss banana” Hamson said and then………………….,,……It clicked in Hamsons mind. It must have been Tom Felton who murdered Carrots! (Hamson is a little slow.)
