02.02.24
i woke up today.
finding strength feels as if i am grasping at straws.
painting white over black in hopes no one looks.
inside me lives a suffering black hole.
it hides itself beautifully but rots the inside.
it is a smile and a pose for a photo.
it is getting ready for an hour each day, despite not wishing to live it.
any moment of peace is taken for granted, as it is theft.
months pass and every day becomes groundhog's day.
a parallel universe in which each day you fail the same way.
with such little hope, i grasped that straw,
and at the end of the day, i huddle alone in my bed with flickering lights on the ceiling,
longing for someone, anyone..
stuck in a vortex,
never finding a way out.
endless maze with nostalgic walls haunts my dreams
i cry over my nine year old self.
so is it possible to be by yourself and not grieve the girl who once had dreams?
i'd like to know
if i'll ever find her.
but for today, i woke.
can that just be enough?
