Love at First Spark

18 | November: Drunken Mis(sing You)dials

The weather turned colder and the sky lost its sunlight over the next few weeks. Soon, it was Thanksgiving break.

"Ames, you have to stop moping around," Eloise said one evening.

It was annoying just how similar those were to the words she'd said to me after Dex left.

I lounged on our couch in a pair of sweats, eating Thai takeout from the container. Two chopsticks sat perched between my fingers. "I'm not moping. I finally caught a break from school and I'm relaxing."

Eloise frowned. "Amelia, you've been miserable for weeks. You come home from school and lock yourself in your room. I've been worried about you. Are you sure you don't want to come out with me tonight? Our friends really miss you."

"I'm fine!" I snapped at my sister. "Look, El, if you want to spend Thanksgiving weekend out drinking, by all means do it. But I'm not you and I'm sick and tired of you trying to get me to follow in your footsteps."

"Just say it." She crossed her arms over her sweater-clad chest.

"Say what?"

"Say what you're thinking. That everything is my fault. That the reason Braden was in your life was because of me. That you blame me for your actions sleeping with him." She sunk into the cushions next to me. "You got yourself into this mess, Ames. You chose to go to the bar with us that night, you decided to dance with him, you decided to pursue a friendship when you know you both felt something more from the moment you met." She took a deep breath. "And you made the decision to have sex with him on the camping retreat. You could've refused all of that. But you didn't. Do you want to know why?"

I really didn't, but I knew my sister and she was going to tell me anyway.

"Because," she answered for me, "you've been in love with him since the day you met. And you're just looking for someone else to blame because you can't help being angry at yourself for taking a chance on someone who was not Dex."

The tears that had been building up for weeks, like pressure from a geyser, finally released. I sobbed into my sister's shoulder so hard and for so long that she had to go and change.

After what seemed like forever, I pawed at my eyes, knowing they were puffy and red.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't be blaming you. This isn't your fault." I said. "You know, you're right."

"I usually am," she teased. "Thank you, but what am I right about?"

"Maybe what I need tonight is a night out. Just because of everything that's happened doesn't mean I can't enjoy myself."

Eloise clapped her hands. "Now, that's the spirit! Let's get you ready."

***

The street where Daphne lived was jam-packed with cars by the time we arrived. Judging by the number of houses, it was clear she wasn't the only one hosting a party this year. Eloise turned off the car and stuck the keys in her pocket. I looked at her in amazement; any other night, she'd stick me with the keys but not tonight.

"It's all about you tonight, sis," she said, slinging an arm over my shoulder. "I'll have to live vicariously through you for a change."

I laughed and followed her into the house. Music pumped through the walls—some old-school 90s tunes we'd grown up with. We found Daphne in the kitchen, mixing up a batch of margaritas. The counter held an assortment of foods, from green beans and sweet potatoes, to the classics of turkey and cranberry sauce.

"Amelia, Eloise!" Daphne called out to us. Her dress swished by her knees. "I'm so glad you could make it. Both of you."

"We're glad to be here." I handed her a bottle of champagne. "Congrats on the new house, by the way. This place is beautiful."

"Thank you." She pulled me into a hug. "Now, we have such a big feast here tonight so please take a plate and go mingle! I'll be around." She squeezed my arm and disappeared into the crowd.

The food was amazing and the buzz of alcohol calmed my emotions just enough that I finally felt free. At one point, I collapsed onto Daphne's sofa. My fingers fumbled around in my purse for my phone, which indicated I had two missed calls.

One from Dex, the other from Braden.

I listened to Braden's message first:

Ames, it's me...I know I shouldn't be doing this...God, Lisa would kill me if she knew—

Another voice cut in. "Linda. Dude, you were married to her for—"

Linda. Whatever. Ames, I miss you. Your face. Your laugh. We had so much fun together. The night at the lake...I would give anything to be back there with—Shut up, Logan!—you right now. I hope...no I'm not going to say that. I'm not gonna be the douchebag who tries to get you to come back because I'm the one who screwed up. Maybe in another time we could've been something for real. But I won't ever forget the fun we did have. You're a great mentor to Lucy. I'm glad she has you in her life.

There was a pause on the other end and I thought the message was over.

I guess I'll see you around. Bye, Amelia.

Then Dex's message:

Amelia, it's Dex. Eloise told me about what happened with you and that guy—Braden. I wish I could be there with you. I know I haven't been the most present over the last few months but I want you to know that I am here for you. I love you, Ames, so much. Let me know if you need anything and I'll fly right over.

My fingers hovered over the callback button. I shouldn't do this. I couldn't do this.

I had to do this.

The phone rang a few times before hitting voicemail.

Beep...

Silence. What was I supposed to say? I guess I had to try.

"Um, hey. I've been thinking about you a lot lately. I wish...I wish we could go back to that night. Things felt so different and innocent when it was just you and me. I miss you so much. But maybe we're better off apart. The distance is good for us."

I pinched the bridge of my nose, fighting off a headache. This was not going well.

"God, I can't believe I just said that. I can't stop thinking about that night. I felt...I felt a spark."

I laughed.

"I fell in love with you at the first spark."