The Hope beneath the Dark - Sebastian Sallow

2. Due apologies

"I was hoping you would follow me here." Sebastian let out, as he was still facing the castle.

I remained silent, there were no words that succeeded to get out of my mouth despite it being opened to reveal my shock.

"I heard you telling Ominis you were heading to Hogsmeade after class. I went to sit on a bench outside the castle until I saw you come out, and when I did, I started walking ahead of you." He admitted. "I thought that you might follow me here if you saw me, or that it would at least be worth to take the chance."

I crossed my arms and looked down at my shoes. I thought about this morning, and how I had a feeling he was going to say something. I had so many questions, but at that moment I felt frustrated. I didn't like being caught off guard.

Sebastian finally turned his body over to me. I could tell he was looking at me, but our eyes didn't meet yet, as I kept staring down.

"I don't know where to begin, Maude. There is so much I need to say and wished to tell you this past month." The sound of is voice allowed me to feel his nervousness. "This morning, when I saw you, I wan..."

"How about you start with an apology?" I cut him before he continued. "Not a word. Not a single word since our last conversation in the undercroft."

Sebastian went back to looking down at the lake, turning only his face to the side, his body still facing me.

"Look, it's all great how you told me you were thankful and that you would take it as a chance to redeem yourself, but how exactly pushing away everyone that helped you is the way to do so?" I told him, angrier that I thought I'd be.

"You're right, I do owe you an apology... and to be honest, I still feel like right now, nothing I will say will be enough of an apology for what I put you through." He now stared at the castle, clearly unable to face me while saying what he was about to tell me. "I couldn't face you or Ominis after what I'd done. I didn't even think I could face myself for a while. At first, I was angry that no one seemed to understand why I did what I did. To me, I had no choice." He paused and started pacing back and forth on a few feet distance, still near the water.

"After about a week, my frustration turned into fear and horror. To be honest, I was expecting you to come to your senses and try to reassure me that it was the right thing to do and..." He continued.

"You thought that I would, again, excuse what you did? That it was on me to make you feel good, or at least better, about what you did?" I asked, shocked at his words. "Merlin Sebastian! You killed someone, your own family!" My anger and disappointment pierced through my voice. "How dare you expect even more of me after I gave you every ounce of time and care that I had left to give?"

"You always told me that you trusted..." He tried to let out what sounded as more excuses.

"No, Sebastian! No more of that." I uncrossed my arms, letting them fall on each side of my body, fists clenched. "So again, it is just going to be somebody else's fault! I can't believe all that time I was worried about you, putting my own feelings and needs aside. Ominis was right, you really did just used me and tried to manipulate me into being someone who would always tell you what you wanted to hear. No more of that!" I ended that last sentence, and turned back to where I was coming from, walking away from him.

I hadn't made three steps that I felt Sebastian's hand wrapped around my wrist, holding me back from leaving. I paused and closed my eyes. I wouldn't know why, but a single tear ran down my face. A rush of emotions crashed onto me. The lies, the manipulation, the darkness I allowed myself to go through for that boy. I realised that I gave so much for him, and all this time, I was trying to make it make sense. Of course, I would do and did so much for my friends, but for Sebastian... I let things happen that I may never have let happen for anyone else. His touch, after all this time, woke something up in me. Something I unknowingly hid deep.