a slave to freedom (Eren Yeager x OC female)

4

it's been almost 2 months since Adeline has seen Eren. he rejected every request to hang out from just about everyone. "he's shutting himself out again," Adeline spoke, closing the car door behind her. "just when we thought he was opening up again," Annie says, swinging her bag over her shoulder. "did something happen that caused him to shut out again?" Piek asks, following the other two girls. Adeline's face flushed over with a light pink, quickly shrugging, thankful she was walking ahead of the other two. "no idea," Annie says, looking at the black haired girl. the three of them headed towards the hill, lugging blankets and a basket of food with them. "hey, Mikasa! hope you're doing well!" Adeline says cheerily before spreading the blanket onto the ground. as Piek and Adeline set up the food, Annie replaces the flowers by Mikasa's headstone. it was a monthly occasion for the girls to come up here and have a girls only picnic with Mikasa. catch her up on everything and just spend some time together in general. "Mikasa, you'll never guess!" Adeline says happily, getting herself adjusted in her spot. "actually... i'll let Annie tell you," she smirks, looking at Annie. Annie's cheeks went red, "come on, Adeline. do i really have to say it outloud?" she says shyly. Adeline eagerly nods, hands clenched in excitement. Annie sighs, "Armin and i made things official last month," she mumbled. "aww, i don't think she heard you. speak up, Annie!" Piek teased, getting a laugh out of Adeline. Annie shot the two a glare, "seriously?! if she really is watching over us i'm sure she knows!" she says, her face going more red, getting more laughter from the two girls. "you get flustered so easily when it comes to Armin," Adeline pats her on the shoulder, digging into the food before them.

after 2 hours, Annie and Piek begin to pack their things up. "are you sure you don't want us to help you clean her grave?" Piek asks for the hundredth time. "positive! i've got this! it's not too dirty so it shouldn't take too long," Adeline smiles, waving the two of them off. once she sees them get into their cars she turns around and begins cleaning. "i'm sorry, Mikasa," she finally speaks after a few minutes of silence. she sprayed a new spot on the headstone with a bottle of cleaning solution, gently scrubbing it with a small brush. "i should've-" her voice breaks off, tears welling in her eyes, her hands starting to tremble. "eren isn't talking to me. i don't know what to do," she says her breathing getting heavier. "i'm so sorry, mikasa," Adeline begins to sob. "i should've been there. i should've been the one to... it shouldn't have been you, and now you're gone," Adeline couldn't hold herself together. she hadn't cried this hard in 5 years, "dammit," she mumbles, wiping her tears on her knitted, burgundy sweater. "dammit, dammit, DAMMIT!" she shouts, punching the ground. why did it have to be you to leave me behind!  "if i wasn't a damn coward and stayed behind. i was just making excuses for myself. there was no reason for me to stay behind while you all risked your lives," she continues , kneeled to the ground, head bowed in front of the headstone, she cried into her arm. "i'm a piece of shit! i'm so pathetic!" her voice now became hoarse, punching the ground again, she could feel skin on her knuckles peeling with each punch. "DAMMIT DAMMIT DAMMIT DAMMIT DAMMIT!" she screamed in her sobs. someone had grabbed a hold of her hand before she could throw another punch to the floor, pulling her into a hug. she continued to sob uncontrollably latching onto the person for comfort. 

*** Eren's P.O.V ***

he was headed to Mikasa's gravesite, parking his car he headed towards the tree she had been buried at. almost reaching the tree he noticed someone hunched over screaming to themself "DAMMIT!" the girl yelled. Eren quickly recognized Adeline's voice, rushing over to her, grabbing her hand before she hit the ground again. "i'm so sorry i wasn't there. i should have been. i should have noticed. i should have done more and i didn't. i'm sorry. i'm sorry. i'm sorry. i'm sorry," Adeline cried as he tightened his grip around her. "please stop apologizing," he says, rubbing her arms to try and calm her down. "i should have noticed before. i don't know how i missed it. all the signs were there. i'm so sorry. i failed you, Eren," she clinged to the boy. his breathing hitched in his throat for a second, trying to hold back his own tears. "you never failed me, Adeline. you did nothing wrong," he comforts, a tear falling from his eyes at the sight of her. he looks at her hands that had been dripping with blood, another tear fell from his eyes. she started hyperventilating, he takes in slow, deep breaths, slowly letting them out. Adeline begins to follow along shortly after. "come on, let's get you home," he helps her up from the ground. "can you walk?" he asks, taking off his jacket and wrapping her hand in it, she gives a weak nod, staring at the ground avoiding eye contact. 

he unbuckles her seatbelt, helping her out of the car and to the door. her body was drained from the breakdown, he held onto her as she stepped into his home. he brings her down the entrance hall and into the bathroom just pass the staircase that was visible from the front door. having her sit on the counter, he opens the linen closet next to her and pulls out some medical supplies. not a word was spoken the entire ride here. he unwraps her hand from the jacket, she winces a little at the fabric tugging at the loose skin and open wound. "sorry," he says, bringing her hand to the faucet, holding her hand under the cold water. he gently wiped the blood off her hand but the wounds continued to bleed. he looks at her, she stared down at her lap looking utterly defeated. her face blank and eyes empty. he sighs softly, "hold your hand under the water for me," he instructs, letting go of her hand. she leaves it there without a word. he begins to prep a disinfectant and the bandages. he turns the water off, dabbing her hand dry with a paper towel. "this might sting a little," he says before taking the disinfectant and pouring a little onto her knuckles. her body flinches but not a sound escapes her lips. he dabs her hand dry once again with a new towel before wrapping her hand in bandages. "i'm sorry," she finally speaks. Eren pauses for a moment, looking up at her briefly, he continues to wrap her hand. "i told you to stop apologizing," he says gently. it was silent for a moment. "i didn't want you to see me like that, let alone become an issue for you," she spoke regretfully, her words choking her a little. "you're never an issue and you've seen me in worse condition," he says with a small smile trying to lighten the mood. "i suppose so. it was kind of wild when you kept biting your hand trying to turn that one time," she smiles weakly. "yeah, and then i fist bumped a titan instead and controlled them," Eren recalls the memory. they both fall silent, Adeline's head still held low, staring at her now bandaged hand. Eren stared at her, one thing running through his mind this is my fault... i did this to her. i made her feel this way...