-
"Haylee, don't go outside now! It's getting dark." I tell her, pulling her away from the door.
"Why don't I have a mom?" she asks and I already feel like breaking down.
"You do have a mom." I place her on my lap. I'm surprised Haylee is actually asking me this since she's just 4 years old. "She's not here anymore though."
"Where is she?"
"In heaven." I smile shortly
"She's die?"
I laugh at her grammar and shake my head, "She died, yes. " I stop smiling.
"Why?"
"She.. couldn't make it. When she gave birth to you, she lost alot of blood and she didn't make it."
"Why?" she asks again
"Her health condition wasn't that well." I sigh, remembering what happened 4 years ago, "Your mom would've been so proud to see who you are now."
"I wanna have a mom."
No, there is no way I am going to replace Desiree and have a stepmother.
"Y'know, most disney princesses have no mothers either!" i smile
"Really??" her expressions show excitement. She reminds me so much of Desiree.
"Yeah!" I nod "Princess Ariel, Belle, Cinderella, Jasmine, and so so much more!"
"Am I a princess??"
"Of course you are, love !" I hug and carry her up and she giggles. "Princess Haylee."
"But I have no prince!"
I kiss her on her forehead, "You'll find him someday. Just like how I found your mom."
"How did you find her?"
I chuckle, "It's a really funny and long story.
"Storytime?"
"Not tonight, Haylee. Save that story for when you're older." I tell
"Why?" she pouts
"Because then you'd understand."
-
The next morning I cooked some waffles and prepared breakfast for the both of us. Since it's summer, I decided that my parents should go on vacation while I am on vacation too with Haylee.
I walked around the house, fixing some stuff and wiping dust off and smile at the snow globe that laid at the shelf. The snow globe was Desiree and I's. I remember she bought it during her business trip. Like she said, it would always remind me of winter, when I came here.
I hear a door slam and find Haylee going downstairs, carrying pack of crayons and paper.
"Haylee? Breakfast's ready!"
"Let's draw!!" she beams, she's always so cheerful.
"Not now... breakfast first." I signal to the dining table.
She nods, putting the stuff on the table and grabs a waffle to put on her plate. She pours the syrup, spreads the butter and cream. She tries to slice it but she couldn't so I approach her and slice it carefully with a knife.
"Can you draw?" she asks
"Yeah.." I nod, maybe I can.
"Can you draw me the deer on your arm?" she points
"Oh?" I look at my tattoo "This? Oh no, sweetheart this is a tattoo. Daddy didn't draw that... someone else placed it on daddy's arm using a different kind of ink."
She starts rubbing crayons on her arms.
"No, it won't work that way!" I laugh "You're too young to get a tattoo!"
"You have alot!" she points out
"I guess I do." I start feeding her but she refuses and feeds herself. She has grown up so fast.
"Did mommy have tattoos?" she asks with her mouth full.
"Don't talk with your mouth full." I remind "But no, mommy didn't have any tattoos."
"What's this?" she points at my latest tattoo. The barcode with numbers... the numbers Desiree told me. She told me she wanted to tattoo it on herself but I guess I could do it for my own. After all, it is a great idea.
"This." I point "These are the numbers of stars Mommy and Daddy saw at night at special events. At the field, where we go, we look up at the stars just like how we do now!"
I've been treating Haylee the same way I treated Desiree. I wanted to protect her and keep her safe. I took her to see the stars aswell although she can only count until 10.
I lift my ring finger , "See this? I engraved those numbers to our wedding rings. Your mommy wanted those numbers tattooed and or engraved to our rings and I did make it come true." I tell proudly
"I'm drawing mommy!" she says and I find her drawing a girl stick figure. The hair was used by a brown crayon and she even got her eye color right even if it's just a pair of vertical lines.
"That's a pretty drawing, love." I smile. I look at the shelf and smile at the big snow globe and remembered Desiree again. Haylee always loved that and I did too. It was for us.
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