Chicago Love ✔️

Chapter 18: Flushed and Embarassed

Alex watches as Kyle and William walk off into the distance, before finally allowing his eyes to turn on the blond that still remained in the same spot sitting by his hauler through all of that. 

He could only wonder what she was thinking with everything they said. It probably didn't compare to what he was feeling right now in relation the slew of very unexpected and unnecessary comments from William.

"I apologize," he starts as he almost wanted to take out his phone right then and there, and send the text message of his feelings to his teammate. He thought they were supposed to have each other's back. "He is normally the behaved one who doesn't go stirring the pot like he did. He was right that he did convince me to message you, though. I was worried and nervous about what your reaction would be. It also scares me in wondering what else could happen this weekend." 

"I'll be honest with you, as I have been from the beginning," Hailey replies, as she stands up to meet his eyes evenly. Considering the pain he had suffered at the extent of his unfair teammates, she figured he deserved this full honesty from her in return right now. "Like I said to them, I wasn't sure about how to react to your message or whether I should accept. I was nervous to ask my boss in wondering what he would say. Thankfully, Hank was more understanding than expected. He did not bother me much about it - not meaning that won't happen when I get back. Truth be told, I will probably get bothered just as much as you courtesy of Kim and Adam." 

"They were both really nice when I met them before. I imagine they just have the best intentions in mind for you. I hope they don't press you as hard as William was being to me. They're probably just worried because of what happened with Jay..." Alex's voice trails off as he says the words, only to be met with a nod from Hailey as she knew that was possibly pushing the concerns from Adam. They were perhaps thinking it would have taken her longer to get over their divorce together. 

"Everybody thinks I should be more upset about working with him, or the dynamics should change. But like I said to you before, we are still friends and care about each other and work well together. I also had time to grasp a life without him when he was away in Bolivia." She then takes a deep breath, looking away as she hadn't thought about those weeks apart for months now. Why was it suddenly bothering her? Was that the reason a possible long distance relationship with Alex bothered her so much? "I remembered how I felt in the first days. I remembered how I felt when I found out he extended his stay without even talking to me. I remembered how we went days without phone calls or messages due to his assignments. I almost started to wonder if he was even coming home to begin with. I almost started to grasp that would be the end of our relationship there." 

"Then he came hom-"

"It was like it was before initially, but it was never what I dreamed of having in a true relationship I guess. There was a certain connection missing, whether I wanted to admit it or not. We were great for each other, and what we both needed at the time to face demons and what we had going on. But it wasn't that true love that I see...." She didn't want to admit it to him right now, scared of where that could lead. She didn't want to chance scaring Alex away right now. She didn't want to bring out more feelings out of him that she couldn't handle right now. "I'm sorry. I just have a lot on my mind about us, and this weekend in particular. It's why I almost said no, and also why I didn't want to back to your motorcoach earlier." 

"Just because I invited you back doesn't mean I am making you stay the night. You can also take the bedsroom while I take the couch, or vise versa. I wasn't meaning to push you into something that you are uncomfortable with. I'll even get you a local hotel room if you want." She nods her head, accepting, believing those words despite everything else going through her mind. She could never see Alex causing her to do something that she was not comfortable with. That didn't seem like it fit everything she knew about him.

"I appreciate it, honestly...." 

"Everybody thinks I invited you because we are together and wanting to hook up. I am not going to deny that I have some feelings for you, enjoyed the time we spent in Chicago together, have really enjoyed having you to lean on, been distracted by your messages, and am glad that you are here. But we don't need to make this weekend more than it is or put a label on it." Even though he said the words out loud, Alex found himself comparing each of their words and interactions to other couples. Were they just met to be good friends? Were they just met to be therapy for each other? Or were they met to be more? Would they fall in love, and want to be together? Could they make a relationship work together? "So why don't we go get something to eat, and hang out at the motorcoach and talk like we both know how? We can talk about your highlights from the day and questions. We can vent about the frustrations of work from the past couple weeks if you want. Instead of having to type it all out, you can say it with ease. I'd share a drink with you, but I do have to race tomorrow." 

"Are you sur-"

"Are you really going to come all the way out here to Kansas to see me, and not at least enjoy a conversation with a friend?"