Chicago Love ✔️

Chapter 24: Airing It Out

After the discussion on pit road, it was a silent trip back to the motorcoach lot where their bags were together. Alex began putting together what he knew he had to take home with him, while Hailey got all of her clothes back together in the bag. Once they were packed, they would be set for their separate directions - he would head back to Charlotte while she went to Chicago.

There hadn't been any conversation. They had not shared anything about how her first official race experience had gone. They had not shared anything about how he was feeling with another day in the books. They had not shared anything since the words were spoken.

Alex found himself watching her more than getting his things together, letting his mind began to wander as he did so. He could not help but repeat her comment about Jay over and over in her head. It began to cause him to ask a lot of questions - ones he tried to shuffle out of his head immediately. 

He wasn't just a rebound for her. He wasn't just someone she could easily hook up with. If that was the case, why wouldn't she be going for someone closer to her? Why wouldn't she be hooking up with someone that she'd see regularly? You didn't put this much work into a relationship that was just meant for that. 

They had a special connection that way, or so it seemed. That is what was presented the text messages they shared and the bond. However, what if she was like this with everybody? What if he wasn't the only person she was sending these messages and feelings, too?

He had been thinking heavily about that trip to Chicago last night when she mentioned it. However, he began to wonder if it was worth his time. He began to wonder if he was doing the right thing. He loved her. He cared about her. He wanted to be with her. It had to be the right thing.

"I just want to air this out before I leave to head home," Hailey's voice breaks the ever-growing silence between the pair of them, as his eyes don't leave her in the process. "I can pretend the break-up and divorce with Jay did not affect me, but it has affected me. It has bothered me emotionally since even before we decided to get divorced when he left for Bolivia, if I am being honest, and it almost broke me while he was away. I may have that resentment towards him..." 

"You have a right to be upset," Alex reasons with her, as he tries to think over everything Hailey and Jay had shared about their relationship together with him, as well as Jay's relationship with Erin. "Anybody would be upset in your shoes, and sometimes it's hard to deal with. Been through a break-up, hated it completely, so I sympathize with you." He then reaches out for her hand, initially catching you off-guard. "My teammates are complete asses, okay? They shouldn't be riding you as hard about this and I will talk to them. I know this is more than that smirk comment may have implied. We both know how much we care about each other. We both know how much we enjoy each other's company. We both know how much we enjoyed last night together. I'm not worried about it, okay?"

"Ale-"

"They can think what they want about the comments, or about us together. It doesn't matter to me. I can openly stand here and say that I care about you, I can't wait to be with you when we have time together, I can't wait for your text messages, and I like the bond that we have together. That's all that matters at the end of the day." She nods her head as she looks into his eyes, as she wanted to easily meet his comments with thoughts of her own. But yet, the fears from the night before came back once again, now even more powerful in combination with the other thoughts.

"We may care about each other, but we both have our own separate lives. How are we supposed to regularly see each other, Alex? How are we supposed to make this work together?" Alex couldn't help but smile in hearing the comments, even if they weren't exactly what they were what he wanted. There was one key to everything she said.

"I am just happy to see you say the word 'together' right now. As long as we have that, the rest is going to work itself out. I'll find time in my schedule to make a couple trips to Chicago when I can. Just wait until December and January and then you can have me to yourself. Meanwhile, if you have a weekend to get away, come join me as you have the magic card to get access anywhere." He then reaches for her, bringing it right close to his body. "Let's have fun with this. Let's explore the feelings and enjoy it for what it is. Let's not put a label on it and just go with the flow. Enjoy the text messages, enjoy having someone to lean on, and someone to have a little fun with. It's crazy for me to say this because I've never thought of ever doing something like this, but I want to - because of you. I love you, Hailey Upton." 

"It's hard me for me to say this, but I love you, too, Alex Bowman. I'll accept the offer - despite every part of me wanting to run out of that door screaming. So if I fuck this up, don't be afraid to tell me so." He then laughs as he leans in, snagging a kiss from her. She easily accepts, pinning him back up against the counter, running her finger down his chest. "It's too bad that you changed earlier and didn't let me help you...."