Here there be dragon clichés...

XIII - Well, that was a plot twist...

"I thought we were goners when she found us spooning," mused Malcolm. He crawled to his feet and rubbed his sore shoulder and his forehead. "I think I have a concussion..."

"Yeah," grumbled Harold. "I have a hunch that I'll never hear the end of that one..."

Malcolm stopped and stared in wonder at the vast horde of wealth. Even if they got a wagon they could never transport all of it, and trying to carry too much would attract trouble. Greedy lords with lots of men-at-arms who would be all too happy to stab the two warriors in the back. This was a turning point in their journey as warriors. "I'm starting to regret this decision..."

Harold looked up. "How d'ya mean?"

Malcolm gestured at the vast sums of treasure. "There's too much to carry. We've made a huge mistake. We risked our lives for a treasure we can't even carry, or hold on to for that matter. We'll be robbed and murdered, not necessarily in that order."

Harold the dragonslayer shrugged. "Yeah, fine. I get it. But that doesn't mean that we shouldn't take our fair share."

"We should bury some of it... In a chest. A retirement hoard for our old age."

Harold kicked some of the gold. "Why bother? There's lots here for us to come back to."

"Once the locals learn that the dragon is dead they'll loot this place dry. We need to store some of it somewhere that we can dig up later, if we need to."

Again Harold the dragonslayer sighed, more loudly. "Fine, fine... Find a chest and we'll bury some of the gold and the bigger gems in it, but we're taking all of the magical stuff with us, lots of the smaller gems, and a fair number of gold and silver so we can sleep in inns without arousing suspicion."

"I don't mind if they're a little aroused," admitted Malcolm with a wink.

"That's what she said."

The two men continued to stare in wonderment at the vast sums of treasure that they would need to sort through before leaving this place.

"We should take some of the dragon's teeth, to prove that we slew her," suggested Malcolm. "Although there will be others who will collect souvenirs too and might claim to be dragonslayers too."

"Not if we break off all the dragon's teeth and bury them with the chest."

"Yeah, that could work."

"Also," continued Harold. "I would argue that we should actually brag about killing the dragon. That way we might be able to get knighthoods, or at the very least it will be stronger evidence to support our previous lies. And it will hopefully prevent other people from trying to claim our glory for themselves."

Malcolm nodded in agreement. "Yep, good idea, but it means that we'll be sailing into troubled waters. We could attract the wrong sort of attention."

"Yeah, we're in for a wild ride!"

"That's what she said."