Will you talk to me again?
-Jagger Finn
!!>TW:SH/SUI THOUGHTS<!!
!! THIS WHOLE CHAPTER IS ONE BIG VENT !!
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>BASIL POV<
I feel like shit.
My whole body aches like hell.
And I don't know why.
As soon as I hear Polly drive off, I force my weak body to get up and dig through my drawer.
There, I pick up a blade from an art knife.
... I haven't done this in months.
I stare at my scars on my arm, then at my stomach.
I touch it, and it 𝐟𝐮𝐜𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠 hurts.
No. I have to do this.
I don't wanna live if I'm just gonna gain weight, not knowing why.
I haven't eaten, yet I've gained more than I have in the past three years? In just this week?
I don't know what's going on.
Nobody is listening to me.
Nobody will ever listen to me. (Basil kinda stupid atm lmao)
I tip-toe to the bathroom, shutting the door promptly, of course forgetting to lock it.
I lean against the wall, feeling the world around me spin.
"Don't pass out... don't pass out..." Whispering to try and calm myself down, I slide down the wall, and fall to my ass.
My body is just 𝐜𝐫𝐚𝐯𝐢𝐧𝐠 self inflicted pain right now.
I try to keep my breathing under control, but it gets to the point where I start hyperventilating.
"Okay... just... one..." Feeling hot tears envelop my eyelids, I place the blade to my wrist-
"BASIL!" The door opens, and a familiar raspy voice is in the doorway.
"AH!" The blade slips out of my hand, dropping to the tile with a clank.
Horrified, I look up to see my grandmother, who also had fear traced in her eyes.
Fuck. I forgot she was here.
She wobbles over to me, bending down and snatching the blade from the ground.
"I... I didn't..." I mutter, curling up into a ball, which hurts my stomach even more.
"Hey... Shh... it's gonna be alright... breathe for me." Her soothing, croaky voice makes it easier to speak.
"I... I'm so sorry..." I cover my lower abdomen.
"Are you alright? Did you cut anywhere?" She sends me a worried tone.
"N-No..." I fixate on my feet, trying not to make eye contact with her.
"Good. What's the matter, sweetie? Something you wanna talk about?" Her voice is ultimately calm given the situation.
"... y'know that boy Kel? We used to date."
The grandmother nods, following along.
"I... we had oral."
Her eyes widen, but she lets me continue.
"And then I..." I pointed down there, and she gave that face that was like, 'ah'.
"We're on break right now. And... I'm worried I might be..." I shiver thinking about that thought, "... pregnant?"
She looks me up and down.
"Hm... did you take a test?"
"Y... Yeah. It was negative. But..."
"You're still not satisfied?"
It's like this lady could read my mind.
"Yes." I finally glance up at her.
"We... could take you to the ER if you like?"
"E...ER?? I..." I can't help but remember what happened back in March.
"I get that place doesn't hold the fondest of memories... but it might be for the best. Just in case you have an STD or an infection or something more."
I nod, still unsure and hesitant.
"It going to be okay, Basil. You're my strong little man, okay?" She sets a hand on my shoulder, "we can go right now if you like."
I look at my stomach once more.
Do I really want this?
...
"Okay. Let's go."
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A/n: next chapter will be a bunch of medical stuff, just a warning :]
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Gardening & Gender Mishaps
Fanfiction>UPDATES SPORADICALLY< ✩-------------------------⁂✵🜸✫彡 Basil is a boy. He's always been a boy. But what if one incident leads to another, and he ends up in a really strange situation for a male? ✩-------------------------⁂✵🜸✫彡 This self insert sto...
