Barry Keoghan Boyfriend Series

the cruelest summer, with you pt. 1

it had to be a total concidence that his family wound up at the same place as you on vacation. you knew that it was one of barry's dream vacations, going out to montana and hanging out with the horses and nature. it was a place he wanted to take you because it was a place special to his heart. after the break up, it had always been your vote when it came to the yearly family vacation. Whether it became a subconscious thing or an actual dream of yours, or maybe you simply forgot that it was barry's dream and not yours. 

it had been a cruel spring without barry, but now distance wasn't a problem, he and his family were in the cabin straight across from yours. you wound up going on the family vacation with the whole clan on your mother's side of the family and since the two of you have gathered some distance from each other the relationship with your mother had became stronger. barry hadn't known that about you, so when you saw you walking with your mother out to the river, he wondered if there was about to be screaming match or something, but when the two of sat by the river, talking softly to each and even taking a picture together, barry knew that your world had changed and he hadn't been apart of it. 

knowing that barry was so close has been killing you slowly, always glancing out the window to see if you could catch a peak of him. you felt like a creepy stalker, looking out for her prey. you were always waiting for him to be waiting below, where his family cabin was. seeing barry there killed you but it made you want him even more. 

that's when you caught him. it was later in the night and you were going to go out for a swim since no one was awake, you thought it was perfect timing, but you weren't the only one to think that as you saw barry. the one thing you could always compare barry to was the color blue. when you saw him you felt blue, the shadows bouncing off the pool water had a blue sheen from the water glaring off the harsh pool lights. 

you paused right outside the door as you saw him. you were frozen in your spot, paralyzed by fear as barry caught your eyes and made his way towards you. the darkness incaptured him, making your heart beat out of your chest as you came face to face with him. He hung his head low in the glow of the vending machine. you had to tell yourself you weren't dying because this is the feeling you were sure of. the two of you were no longer trying, there was no relationship to mend or history to rewrite, it was just the two of you standing in front of each other with everything to lose. 

"Ya gonna come swim, love?"

"I was going to." You replied.

"Don't let me stop ya." barry hummed, as he backed away from you. you were holding the towel close to your chest, like he hadn't seen it all and more before. 

"fine." You mumbled, walking onwards and setting the towel on a nearby chair. you took a deep breath, feeling barry's sharp blue eyes drilling into your back as you jumped into the pool. when you came up from the water, you glanced around to not see barry. an incesant feeling of loss came over you as you couldn't find him, but you hoped that you could let the feeling sink away as you leant back into the water.