I walked through the forest upon finding my mother and father's headstone, I laid out a blanket and sat, resting my back in between their names. This has become a weekly routine since I graduated high school. I pulled out my mother's book she wrote, specifically for me, for my graduation present. I sat the book on my lap and studied the cover. This is the last couple of pages I'll read of my mother's journey finding love. I ran my finger over the indention the title made. 'Barefoot,' most will never understand the meaning of the title, but I do.
It's bittersweet knowing that this is the end, and that I have neither of my parents. People say that with time wounds heal but somehow my wound re opens everyday I wake and realize they're gone.
The love they shared for each other was so strong! I admired them, along with everyone around them. They truly brought out the best in one another.
With the help of my bookmark I resumed reading where I left off last week:
April 4th, 2008
Today is the day I've been waiting for since I was a little girl. Figuratively, I've found my King and now it's time for me to become a Queen. For as long as I can remember I've wanted to love and be loved. Nothing makes me happier knowing I have found the one, and that he is waiting to share our vows.
We will now grow old together, have a family of our own, and live happily ever after; like in the fairytales.
I quit reading so I could wipe the tears that streamed down my face.
My mother didn't know that she would only get to live fifteen short years of her fairytale.
They were taken from me far too soon. I can still hear my Grandmother's voice as she woke me in our Manhattan home, explaining that my mother and father had been killed in a fatal car accident. To say I was devastated would be an understatement. It ripped my heart out of my chest and tore it in two. Three years later, I still find it difficult to cope. My mother and I had an inseparable bond. She was my best friend! She taught me how to read my first book, how to do my hair. She taught me to love, accept, and respect everyone and everything around me, especially nature! There are so many memories I will cherish forever!
At a young age I was a daddy's girl. I remember wanting to be just like him someday! I still strive to be half the business person he was. Both my parents taught me that I can be anything I want to be if I work at it. As my dad would say, "Persistence is key," I'd give anything for him to hold me again and tell me that everything is going to be okay.
I took a couple deep breaths and continued reading.
As I walked down the aisle I admired the scenery surrounding us. I looked up at the trees and the sun cascading down through the tree tops. I adore Shawn even more for clearing a spot in the middle of a forest for us to have our wedding. It's nothing like Shawn, but there is nothing I admire more (besides him) than nature. I made my way to Shawn, who had tears in his eyes. I stood barefoot in front of the man who I love deeper than words could ever describe.
I couldn't control my emotions so at sight of seeing Shawn cry, I did the same.
"Dearly Beloved, we are gathered here today in this sign of God - and in the face of this company - to join together this man and this woman in holy matrimony which is commended to be honorable among all men; and therefore - is not by any - to be entered into unadvisedly or lightly but reverently, discreetly, advisedly, and solemnly. Into this holy estate these two persons presence now come to be joined..."
After our wedding ceremony, Shawn's parents had a surprise party for us at their house.
That night we took a long walk through our flower garden, and through the woods behind our house. We talked about life, our love, our future, and basically every little thing we could think of.
Shawn wants enough children to have a basketball team, as I only want two. Hopefully he'll come around.
I spent the night wrapped in the arms of the man I love most.
It all makes sense now. All the trouble I went through, it was to find Shawn, it was to find love, it was all part of God's plan. All those nights I spent alone, crying, depressed, I wish I would have known.
At last, I found peace.
I turned the page to find a note that my mother had wrote for me.
Blue,
This ending was as hard for you, as it is for me, I imagine.
You are now reading this, which means you have graduated high school. You did it, and I am so proud of you! Your father and I, love you more than anything on earth! You're our pride and joy. I can't wait to see where life takes you and I'll be right by your side as you chase every dream you have.
Living out my journey was hard but I would do it a thousand times if I knew I would have you and your father in the end. You are truly a gift from God.
Through your eyes,
Everyone is equal,
Darkness turns to light,
and the world is at peace,
In the eyes of this miracle God has gave me,
I find reason to believe,
In your eyes,
I am everything I have ever wanted to be.
I love you, Blue. I am so proud of you!
- you're biggest supporter, and your best friend.
love, mom
I closed the book, my face soaked from tears.
This is not the last time the book will be read. This book will be past down for generations. My daughter will read this after she graduates, and so will my granddaughter.
I can only hope to be half the woman my mother was, and to find a love like she did.
My mother spent fifteen years in hell, and fifteen years in heaven on earth, so to speak. Now they are walking down roads paved of gold, as in love as the day they left, I imagine.
They may be gone but their story will live forever.
I stood up and turned to look at their headstone one final time before I leave to go to Texas.
I ran my hand over the warm marble. It felt hot under my touch because of the sun radiating heat.
Thinking of the day when you went away,
What a life to take,
What a bond to break,
I'll be missing you.
"I love you two, so much!"
I took the time to admire the quote on the back of their headstone. It holds so much truth to both their lives.
When asked if I had anything I wanted to be put on their headstone I immediately had an answer;
"Life can only be understood backwards; but must be lived forwards."
I took off my nude flats, holding them in one hand and my book in the other, and walked carefully through the forest, taking time to embrace all the beauty nature holds.
As I stood staring up at the sun shining through the treetops I could almost hear my mother's voice sing,
"Every little thing, is gonna be alright."
***A/N
THE END
This was probably the hardest chapter I've written. Not gonna lie I got tears in my eyes.
Thank you, @noangeleither for your opinions, they helped a lot!
Thank you guys for all your support! I had so much fun writing this story!
This is why I said with the way the story ends, a sequel wouldn't make sense, so there will not be one!
Again, thank you so much!!
i love y'all so much 💋💋💋
