"Dad... can I go to the amusement park?"
From reading the papers in his hand, Dad just barely spared me a glance. I know he was busy, but I was getting bored. I really wanted to go out.
"No."
I was already expecting his answer. But if I just stayed here in this house for today, I felt like I would go insane. My boredom would be my cause of death.
"Daddy, please? My classmates are always talking about it. I want to go there too."
He huffed a breath. He removed his spectacles before he finally looked at me.
"How many times should I tell you 'No' before you understand, Yelizaveta?"
He was mad. Probably because I just disturbed him on his busy day. I twisted the teddy bear that I was holding, one of the gifts he had given me before. He must've thought that the toy would entertain me, just like all the other gifts he gifted me.
I pursed my lips to stop them from trembling. He wasn't like this before. He was a loving father, giving me everything that I wanted. He was always playing with me with a smile on his lips and a gentle look in his eyes.
But ever since my mom died, he changed.
I was just six years old when I first noticed something was different with my family. My parents were nothing like those that my classmates had. The difference was so obvious, and everyone could see that whenever there would be a parent-teacher meeting. They treated my mom differently and with respect, as if she was the queen of Russia. But everyone wanted to talk to her or at least be acquainted with her to gain connections.
But with my father, it was kinda... over the top. Their respect for him was so high, I think it would even reach the sky. They wanted to be in his favor, but they were scared to approach him. They didn't even dare be near him, even ten meters away. One time, it was Dad who went to the parent-teacher meeting, walang umupo sa tabi n'ya. The next person next to him was five seats away from him. Kahit na rin ang tao sa sa harap at likod n'ya.
It was a very awkward and uncomfortable meeting for everyone. So, my dad decided that that would be the first and last time he would attend a meeting like that.
I couldn't understand why everyone was being like that. Ang alam ko lang, iba ang pamilya namin. I didn't have a lot of friends. I even have the feeling that the friends I had at that time only befriended me out of fear for my father.
I was seven years old when my mom died. I still remember that day. I was waiting for my parents to come home because, for some reason, I couldn't sleep that night. They were out at some business party they needed to attend at hindi nila ako pwedeng isama. So, I was left at home at that time with our housemaid and my father's men to guard the house.
It was not until I heard some commotion outside the room. I was in my pajamas, but I got curious, so I went outside my room. Nakita ko ang mga tauhan ni Daddy, walking around the house, checking everything. Nobody noticed me, as they were all busy. So, I walked to my father's study. At that time, I couldn't understand why it was the first place I'd thought of. Basta doon ako dinala ng mga paa ko.
I found Dad, sitting on the long sofa around the center table. The room was dim, and he didn't bother to turn on the lights. His face was buried in his hands, and his elbows were leaning on his knees. Wala na ang coat na suot n'ya kanina. His looks told me that there was something wrong.
"Dad...?"
I saw him flinch when he heard my voice. Hawak ko pa ang doorknob dahil nag-aalangan akong lumapit sa kanya. He looked at me, and I noticed even his hair was disheveled. And the expression I saw on his face was something I couldn't understand at that time.
