Nakatulala lang ako noong una. I had no idea what to do. I had never been kissed like this! I mean, this was even my first kiss, not to mention the one I gave Devlin earlier because he said it wasn't even a kiss for some reason.
Like how would I even know that?! I've never had a boyfriend. I've never been intimate with anyone. The only time men would touch me was on a photoshoot and we were all professional at that.
Ah, no. There was Devlin. We were intimate in my dreams.
And it was now happening. This time, it was real.
Devlin was kissing me hotly. His lips were moving against mine and I really didn't know what to do. Ibang-iba kasi 'yung paraan halik n'ya kaysa sa ibinigay ko kanina. Now I knew why he said he couldn't even call that a kiss.
He was sucking my upper and lower lips alternatively, even nibbling them when he got the chance. Mariin ang pagkakahalik n'ya. As if he hadn't kissed anyone, and he only got the chance right now. As if he was really hungry and couldn't stop himself from devouring the food that was served right in front of him.
His hand, which was on the back of my head, pulled me even closer to him to deepen the kiss. Napahawak na lang ako sa mga balikat n'ya dahil pakiramdam ko ay nanghihina ako. He was sucking all my strength with that kiss, making my limbs tremble and my heart beat really, really fast. Pakiramdam ko ay lalagnatin na rin ako sa sobrang init na nararamddaman ko.
And it was as if he still wasn't satisfied, ang isang kamay n'ya ay umangat sa leeg ko. His fingers gripped my jaw tightly and angled my head so he could kiss me fully, as if he wasn't already doing that. He seemed so restless. I could feel that he wanted more, and he didn't know what to do so he could take more of me.
His kisses felt really dangerous. Sa tingin ko ay iyon din ang dahilan kung bakit ako kinakabahan ngayon, of why my heart is beating really fast right now. There was something inside me telling me that if I accepted this kiss, there was no way to go back anymore. That I would be giving Devlin a chance to take more of me or even all of me. And I have no way to stop that. I would be willing to give him whatever he wanted from me.
I knew that. I also knew that if I wanted to get away, I should stop him now. Because I wouldn't have a chance next time.
Pero iba ang sinasabi ng katawan ko. My heart was also telling me otherwise, and maybe my mind was too.
No. Everything in me was telling me to just accept him.
So, instead of pushing him away to save myself from what was about to come, my hand went up his head and grabbed a fist of his hair. I pulled him closer to me and tried to mimic the way he was kissing me. His hair felt so soft and silky that it was making me confused because of the way he was being rough to me.
I heard Devlin groan. It was like I pushed a button on him with what I did, as his movements became rough. Mas lalong lumalim ang halik n'ya. He was kissing me as if he wanted to swallow me whole, to consume all of me right at that moment. And I didn't do anything but just let him be.
Ni hindi man lang ako makasabay sa paghalik n'ya. I was moving my lips, but his kisses were so fierce that I couldn't really keep up. I didn't know if I was doing the right thing. This was just my first kiss, and it was already this intense.
Devlin bit my lower lip hard. Sa palagay ko nga ay nagdugo iyon. I gasped in pain, and at that moment, I felt Devlin delve his warm tongue inside my mouth. My eyes widened in surprise. This was all too much, and I don't even think I could take any of it. Nanghihinaa ko at nauubusan na rin ako ng hininga.
But Devlin didn't mind that. He didn't even care for me. He just wanted to kiss me. To consume me. To do everything he wanted because, for some reason, it felt like he had been waiting for this for so long and he had been given the chance now, so he was making the most of it. Because he thinks that there won't be next time.
