Void Stage

First Mistake

There was nothing, not even a speck of light, that I could see around me. All around was a spooky, terrible silence.

I asked myself, "Did my vision disappear? Could this be a heart attack? What's wrong with me?"

My heart was humming inside and throbbing rapidly. I felt like my heart was going to explode. I attempted to use my hands to perceive my surroundings, but I discovered that I was unable to control my body. My body felt so heavy and numb, it felt as heavy as lead. From head to toe, I could not move a muscle in response to messages coming from my brain. My mind got clouded with several negative ideas. It was so quiet that—there was no sound at all, which made me feel even more lost and confused. The silence was deafening, a complete absence of sound left me feeling disoriented and lost. It is as if I had been dropped into a vacuum, cut off from the rest of the world.

"Had I been drugged? Was this any sort of absurdity of nature?" I was having a hard time accepting my current circumstances, but eventually, I gathered my thoughts and began to remember what had occurred to me.

All I remember is that I had been seated in my dimly lit room, surrounded by dusty tomes and cracking parchment. While reading 'The Book of Ultimate Theosophy', the inscriptions from ancient times within are believed to contain the universe's secrets. I have always wanted to investigate the nature of the cosmos. I entirely indulged myself for a couple of years to master the ancient language 'Sanskrit' just for the sake of understanding the book. I turned the pages and started reading the stories written inside. I was able to complete the first volume of the book within a matter of days. It was all about different ways to go to salvation, the highest kind of spiritual liberation. Those were not new ideas to me because I had already attended several institutions in my quest for redemption. I decided to proceed further without any further redo. Despite my tiredness, I continued to read the book, my eyes hooked to the pages as the words took me to a world of wonder and science. 

My excitement increased as I read about the people in such detail that I could practically hear their voices. I could feel my interest in the book growing as I went along. Time and space vanished from my mind, and all that remained was the truth I had been searching for so long. As the days and nights passed, my appetite became stronger and darker, but I didn't notice. I nearly finished five volumes in one week. There were numerous stories about God's existence, the beginning of his creation, our ancestors, stories of various Yuga circles, Lokas, contexts, and examples of karma (virtue, righteousness, morality, and the types of sins and punishment for them, as well as ways to repent, etc.) and worship methods, etc. But afterward, things became more complicated. I continued reading the rest of the book. Before continuing, it required the reader to adhere to several stringent guidelines because understanding the self required the reader to physically carry out certain rites. At the time, I reasoned that I would go through it only once and then go over it in depth again once I understood the regulations. 

I continued my reading. Our body may appear solid to the touch, but we are nothing but made up of pure conscious energy. Chakras are the gates that are closed, and because of it, you are unable to realize this energy, roaming continuously on birth and death cycles like a fool. Chakras are the body's primary energy centers. The chakras offer useful tools for healing and personal development as well as an intriguing viewpoint on the nature of human consciousness. We can achieve more peace and fulfillment in all facets of life by investigating and harmonizing these energy centers. Every human body has seven Chakra, or energy centers, located in various parts of the body. These ethereal wheels of sound and light vibrate at particular frequencies that affect our mental, emotional, physical, and spiritual health. Every Chakra has a different color, tone, and element of awareness linked with it. These energies combine to produce a state of perfect health, happiness, and inner serenity when they are in balance and harmony. You can even acquire superhuman abilities if you practice this consistently, pay great attention to your thoughts, and sit quietly. Siddhis are these advanced abilities that are common to all people and are not considered supernatural. Simply said, we're too preoccupied to consistently access them most of the time. One can get these Siddhis by taking specific medications, meditating on sacred symbols, repeating mantras, engaging in austere practices, or by being born into a fortunate circumstance. Yogic tradition holds that powers acquired through mantras, amulets, or medications are not as lasting or respected as powers obtained utilizing intense meditation practice. It is possible to get some Siddhis, such as telepathy, clairvoyance, precognition, psychokinesis, and many more, by following practices that fall short of Yogic insight. The majority of humans have innate psychic abilities that rarely come into conscious control. The most spectacular occurrences seem to happen at periods of intense drive, and the experiences are generally fragmentary and intermittent. As a result, they could be understood as extremely sophisticated, well-cultivated forms of psychic phenomena. In contrast, the Siddhis are supposed to be extremely dependable and completely under conscious control. Super strength, levitation, invulnerability, and invisibility are considered to be among the more sophisticated Siddhis. In every religion's mystical teachings and shamanism, mentioned all of these skills in one way or another. Most of the superpowers are rare, but still most accepted all of it. But one thing, just be careful before performing any of the techniques outlined in this book. Even when one or more Chakras become imbalanced, it can lead to various physical, emotional, and psychological issues.The allure of magical abilities blinded me to the point where I disregarded the advice. I was drawn in by some of the written chants because of their captivating hymns and rhythms. Even though I tried to look away, I couldn't. My desire to gain power had me enthralled in a kind of spell. I felt as though something was holding me tightly, causing me to gasp and tremble in its hold as my power progressively diminished like a frog in a serpent's jaws. At that point, I gradually began to lose my vision. Something must have begun to happen to me at that point. A few sounds were gradually becoming more insistent and louder. Despite their disarray and seeming disconnection from one another, they had one thing in common: a feeling of dread and foreboding. That's when I had a wave of icy melancholy, as though something was wailing within me. My chest felt tense and scratchy. I made an effort to ignore the sensation, convincing myself that it was only a trick of my mind. But the feeling persisted, growing stronger with every second that went by, and eventually, I believe, I must have passed out by then.

"Was I only having a dream then? Am I still in the same dream? However, whatever had occurred then, was abnormal at the time. Is there something inside of me? Wait...? Have I been possessed by anyone? No, I don't believe in Ghosts. All ghosts are theories, nothing more. Whoa! I am seriously losing my mind. Can anyone hear me? I need help. Please, anyone!", I started to scream at the top of my lungs, but my voice was nowhere to be found. 

It was as though someone had taken my voice, rendering me speechless and defenseless. Perhaps I'm just hearing what I'm thinking. There was an overwhelming silence everywhere. I was waiting for someone to pull me out of my predicament. Being helpless, I decided to surrender. I became calm. My thinking became quiet and clear. Then a moment after I felt like I was floating in mid-air. I was able to observe my surroundings slowly, now I could only dimly see them. I could feel the fresh scent of aromatic freshness pulsing in the environment, and the cold breeze giving a glimpse of comfort. I saw myself on the hospital bed, motionless among and there were multiple machines all around me. 

There was an oxygen mask on my face and saline was applied on my wrist. "Am I dead? How can I see my body?" 

I was scared to death. As I lost my patience and started panicking, I could hear the sound of machines beeping loudly. No one else was here to attain me. I tried to look around, but I was unable to move away from my body. I thought I was going to die then. 

*Helplessly I started screaming.*, "Doctors, nurses, anyone here, help me, please." 

A little over I could hear some noises. The door opened. Few physicians and nurses entered the room. My pulse was being monitored by them. I could not hear what they were saying clearly. A nurse arrived with a defibrillator. The doctor kept on performing CPR while pressing on my chest. It appears they gave me an anesthetic dose, because I was drifting off to unconsciousness. Feeling cut off from my physical body was an odd sense. Even though I was watching all of it, I felt more dead than ever. 

Suddenly, I was back in the dark once more. I guessed the doctors must be using the defibrillator to shock me. It felt like I was kicked in the chest. The heart ached. It hurted so much, then that it was intolerable. I was feeling numb for some time and then perhaps went to sleep. I gradually regained consciousness. As I slowly opened my eyes, the first thing I saw was a blinding light. It was so bright that it made me squint and I tried to move my hands to cover my eyes. But I did not have the power to move my body. I could hear the sound of machines beeping and the rustling of medical staff moving around me. 

I tried to speak, but my mouth felt dry and my voice came out in a croak. "Water," I whispered, trying to clear my throat."

One of the nurses quickly rushed over to my side, lifted the bed and opened the mask and I took a sip of water from the cup. I took a few more sips, feeling the cool liquid flow down my parched throat. 

"Welcome back," she said softly, "You've been in a coma for a week." 

I tried to process what she was saying, but my mind was foggy and disoriented. I gathered my mind. The nurse must have seen the confusion on my face and explained that I had been found lying in my apartment room and had been unconscious ever since. 

"It's your wife here who informed us and has been taking care of you since and comes here every day. We already informed her regarding your condition. She is here. Let me inform her, sir."

"Thank you," I said. "Don't strain yourself. I will come again to check on you. Just take a rest and get well soon." she said.