Janto (One Shots)

John Hart is Everywhere

Ianto's POV:

Jack pulls out my seat at this nice little pub we decided to stop by for dinner. "Thank you, sir" i say as i sit down on the chair. Jack sits opposite me. He smiles as me. It's nice to see him care. I like him caring for me. It feels nice. We pick up our menu's and start looking over what we'll order.

"I'm going to have the sausage and mash, how about you Jack?" "I would've thought you'd've already had enough of that for one night, darling" He smirks at me. I smirk back at him. "I'm thinking nachos" Jack replies. Our waiter comes over. "May i please take your order?" "Um yes, I'll have the Nachos, but I'd also like a salad on the side". "And for you, Eye Candy?" "I'll have the- what did you just call me?" And that's when i look up to see the face of Captain John Hart staring back at me. "Oh fucking hell-" i say under my breath. Can't this twat leave me alone? Leave us alone. We're on a date for fucks sake. "John!? What the hell are you doing as a waiter? In Cardiff?" Jack questioned. "Well, i got a little bored. So i thought 'why not be a waiter?' so i became a waiter" . "Well, i would've thought you'd find it too boring." i add. "It's actually not  boring, Eye Candy. You 21st century humans are so peculiar. The rude and ugly customers i just add chili oil to their drinks and they have really amusing reactions. There is also just so much DRAMA. Big fights. Arguments. Everything. It's brilliant". God this man is annoying. I can't stand him.

"Well, nice seeing you, John, but don't you realize I'm sort of on a date?" Jack interrupted. "With this thing? Really? Wow. I would never have guessed you go for him. I expected the one with the long brown hair to be the one you'd end up fucking. Not this one". "It's not like that" I add. I really hate people thinking we're just shagging. I love Jack. Not just his body. I love him. "Oo, hit a nerve there, eye candy?" "Can't we get a actual waiter, please?" i say to him holding the temptation to punch him. "How dear you! I am an actual waiter" "John, please, just go." Jack responded. John turns to me and then back to Jack before saying "I mean, we could solve this entire thing very easily. Remember Alexander the great, Jack? We could have a repeat of that if you'd like..." He smirks at Jack. I assume that's something i don't particularly want to think about. Jack looks as if he almost considers it for a moment. Now I am intrigued. "John. Go. Go bother someone else." Jack replied after a moments hesitation. "Fine, i can see where in not wanted" Well, obviously he cannot or he would've left already. "I guess ill just go then. I mean, that offer is still on the table Jack. Eye candy here could even join in". "just go" i yell at him.

"Just leave this restaurant. Leave Cardiff. You'd be doing us all a favour" I add. "Well before I go I might as well take your order, maybe give you some recommendations. We get paid more to promote other local businesses. Stupid business idea I know, but you know". "Fine but that's it. Then give us an actual waiter" Jack said. "Fine. Deals a deal. Okay, I'll put your order in then I'll come back with a list of places to visit". John goes to the kitchen with our orders written on a page on a little notepad he was holding.

A few minutes later, longer then I would've expected, he comes back with a price of paper from the same notebook as he took our orders. "Okay, here are some places I recommend, they are very good if I do say so myself". He hands Jack the paper. I see his face look annoyed instantly. I grab the paper from him to take a look for myself. The paper read "gentlemen's club on queens st 9/10, Lovecraft sex shop 8/10, Magic Mike live at moterpoint arena 8.5/10" the list goes on. I rip it up. Jack grabs the prices I ripped up and rip them up further. We both turn to John. "That took my ages to find all those cool places. It's mean to break over peoples stuff" John answered. I am so close to punching him. "Go John" Jack replied. "Fine, I'll see you later" John says as he takes off his name badge "no you won't" Jack yells to him.

About 30 minutes later our food comes along. I inspect it closely before eating any. John hadn't shown up again for a while so I guessed maybe we were finally safe. Jack and I had a nice dinner. Pretty decent food and after John had left we had good service too. It was nice. Just the 2 of us.

We headed to my house. Jack and I had had dinner but decided to have dessert in my bedroom instead. We start making our way up to my bedroom. I slam him against the wall as we enter. He starts taking off my tie while I unbutton his shirt. I turn to to the bed only to see the only person I do not want to see right now. Captain John fucking Hart. "I told you I'd see you later". For fucks sake. He is a fucking stalker. "WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU IN MY HOUSE" I shout at John. "Well, I figured the best place to find you guys was in the bedroom. I know you love it here, don't you Jack? This room is a lot like one of my old ones" I am going to kill him. I hate this man so much. "John this is completely inappropriate!" Jack yells back at him. "John get the fuck out of my house before I call the police" "you really think the police will care? They really won't. The police are just a bunch of people who think they're better then everyone else. Also, I'm friends with all the police officers in Cardiff". "All of them-?" Jack adds. "What about Gwen, she was a police officer" I question "Well, I only became friends with them recently". "Just get the fuck out, can't you see Neither of us want you here" I respond. "Jack does. I can see it in his eyes. Room for a small one? Well, not a small one really, pretty big actually. you can ask Jack for confirmation if you don't believe me. I wouldn't leave you disappointed" Okay I've had enough of this mans bullshit. I raise my fist and hit it right against his jaw. It hurt a bit, not going to lie, but it felt so good to hit that asshole. I can see Jack looking at me particularly shocked. "Leave" I say looking at John. "Fine, chill out. You don't have to be so aggressive" John finally starts walking out the door of my room. I watch him as he goes downstairs and out of the front door. Finally he is gone. "Wanna just watch a movie or something?" I offer. "Sure" Jack accepts.

A/N: I have no idea what this is. I was bored on a train ride so this now exists💀