𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐭𝐭𝐲 𝐛𝐨𝐲 | a. walter ( ON HOLD )

022, stop

Warning: suicidal thoughts.

MELODY LAID DOWN ON HER BACK, her head swayed her head to the beat of the song. 'my kind of woman' played the ending of the song before it went silent. As the ads began turning play, the girl began to think.

She wondered what her life would be like if all that happened never did. What if she slept over Cole's house that night? What is she never missed the date? What if, just maybe she was another person.

Melody didn't really know what she felt. She just didn't feel good. It mad her think something was wrong with her. Something was wrong her because she didn't know what the hell was wrong. She didn't know how to feel or even what to think.

It felt like she was in the middle of the ocean with nowhere to go. She couldn't swim, all she was doing was going deeper into the water, and she was panicking. It felt like everything was consuming her as water would, like the only way she could be helped if someone pulled her out or... If she just let herself drown.

Sometimes she thought about it, not often, just when she can't sleep and her mind goes deep through her life, she feels as if she should end it all. Melody knew she couldn't, she couldn't do that to the people she loved, put them through that pain. But every so often, that thought crept into her mind as if it was there every second of the day. Even though, she would never go through with it, she had it all planned out.

First, she would wake up 6:30 on the dot, and take a shower, put on her favorite outfit, and go wth the Walters. Second, she'll probably make them all go to the fair or maybe just watch a movie and play video games, something that she'll know will make them happy. They would play until it hit 12:00, then she would excuse herself and take that time to carefully write each one a letter, and mean everything she wrote. Even for her mother, she would forgive her for every bad thing she's ever done. Maybe, even, mark. When she would finish she would leave them in her special shoe box that holds all her special things, melody is certain Cole will go through it to seek some type of comfort. At, 6:00 pm, she would inform everyone she was going shopping, but really, she was going to the town bridge. She would drive, and listen to all her favorite songs, remembering the memories they held and cry, and cry as those memories were her last, and ones she'll never be able to talk or think about again. Then, at 8:49 on the dot, she would do it, she would end everything.

The same time she came into this world, is the same time she would go out. Melody would never do it. But one time, one time she almost did. She did everything. She still has the letters. It was exactly three days after Mark. She was ignoring Cole, Alex, everyone. But suddenly she showed up and they went to the arcade. It was fun, carefree, happy. Melody almost forgot what she was there to do, but that al ended the moment her mother called her. That's when it all came crashing down.

When that happened, Melody felt her world shift. That's crazy, isn't it. The person who's supposed to bring joy to your life, the person who gave you the gift of living, who's supposed to love you unconditionally, who's supposed to take care of you, love you. Her own mother, was the person who made her want to kill herself.

She did everything. Absolutely everything, to please her. She got the good grades, she never went to parties, she never complained, she never asked for anything, she never talked about anything that would hurt her. And all, all, she wanted in return was her mother to be proud of her, to love her. She begged for it, cried for it. and she chose him. Him.

Melody never felt so angry and sad at the same time. She felt so fucking used. It was so fucked up. Her mother chose a man, over her. She was there, not him. Melody was her daughter. melody was her kid, melody was a kid. Why couldn't she be one?

Why did he have to do that to her? Why did he have to take away something that wasn't his choice. Why didn't she have a choice. Why. Why. Why. Why. Why. that's all Melody could think. and what. What did she do to ever deserve what happened to her. What could she have done to stop it. Was it her clothes? No, it couldn't be, she was wearing sweats with a sweater. So, what was it? Why did do that?

Melody wanted to fucking die. She couldn't do this anymore. Why does it always have to be her.

authors note.

Very short but sad chapter. I actually, even tho the context, love this chapter. We kinda get to see melody's thoughts and how she is handling the situation because I feel like I don't address it a lot but some people don't understand that SA victims don't make that everything. Yes it hurts, but most victims want to forget, they force themselves to. But please remember, if you have any thoughts about this it has gone through even a quarter of this, I am always, always here to talk.

I also wanted to talk to guys about my other books.

Fetish- rafe Cameron.

Heartburn- Cole Walter.

My kind of woman- oc x oc, tsitp.

Cupid's chokehold- my own stand alone story.

If you want to read these, please check them out, give them a chance. I will be updating all these books, as well as delicate.

Please remember, I am always here to talk 🫶🏼

Please, comment, vote, and enjoy reading.