On Me (Matt Sturniolo)

9.

"You're looking pleased with yourself today"

I looked at Mary, smiling at her as I settled into my chair.

"How are we feeling? She asked

I smiled at her. "Did you get or something?" She asked, laughing

I teased her with a smirk, laughing alongside Rebecca, the nurse.

She started to work on my arm, to prep me for another week of chemotherapy, and it had been two weeks since I last saw Matt.

I came to the conclusion I was doing good so far with him and our last conversation, but now as I sat next to Mary, I noticed a magazine laid out on the table...and he was all over it.

That was why I was smiling like an idiot.

"I'm feeling okay. How are you feeling?" I asked, just as Rebecca said sorry, because I groaned in pain at the needle in my arm.

"I could be better" Mary yawned, and I stared at her as she stroked her bump. "It's not a good day today"

"Oh, I'm sorry" I said, giving her an apologetic smile. "Is there anything I can do?"

She shook her head. "Besides carry my baby for me? Nothing, honey"

I smiled and she took my hand in hers.

"Listen, I was meaning to talk to you about that" she whispered. "Have you thought about, you know....your future?"

I frowned at her. "What do you mean?"

"You know...children?" She said. "I know you're only twenty, but I wouldn't want you to get infertile because of the chemo and radiation, then when you're older and you want children, you can't-"

"I haven't thought that far" I cut her off. "It wasn't something in my agenda..."

"Madison, please" she gently begged me. "Don't go through what I did. Please listen to me, you may not want children now...but in the future you may"

"I may not be around in ten years" I said, making her gasp in shock.

"You say that, and it may be true, but what if you are and you change your mind? Ask the doctor about freezing your eggs"

"What do you mean 'go through the hell I did?'" I asked, frowning at her.

"Jamie and I, we wanted kids...but it was never offered to us to freeze my eggs before chemo, so we didn't know. This is my third time battling this disease, Madison, and I got pregnant because we used an egg donor. It's not what I pictured myself doing, but it gives me a chance to be a Mom, and I had no choice but to take it"

"Woah" I let out a deep breath. "So your baby isn't technically...yours"

I felt horrible the minute the question came out of my mouth, but I couldn't help myself.

Mary swallowed. "It's mine. It just hasn't got my DNA, but it's apart of Jamie and I. I love this baby more than life"

"I'm sorry, Mary. I didn't mean it like that" I apologised softly. "You're...amazing. You'll make an incredible Mom"

"Thank you, honey" she mumbled. "Please listen to me when I say, go and see about freezing your eggs...one day, you'll never know, you may want something you may not be able to have..and that's not nice"

I swallowed, nodding in response as the incision in my arm had been completed and the chemo had started.

"I promise, I'll do it when we're done"

"Good girl" she whispered, and Rebecca looked at me with a worried look.

"What?"

"I'm sorry, I couldn't help but overhear...but you should have been asked if you'd like your eggs frozen before chemotherapy started"