On Me (Matt Sturniolo)

22

The loud banging and knocking became so persistent that after a period of time, my hand was starting to hurt and ache.

I could hear yelling from the other side of the door, but not aggressively, it was frustration...like yelling at someone when they weren't listening.

I jumped lightly, hearing the door be suddenly be pushed wide open and I stood there, my gaze firmly at the figure.

"Fuck, Madison" he exhaled, stepping over the line that split his room and the corridor apart. "We've been worried, where have you been?"

He looked both ways, checking no one was watching, when he pulled me into the longest, safest hug I'd ever felt in my life.

I found my way outside of Matt's hotel room, under the pretence I was going to tell him everything...about my feelings for him, how I felt about Josh and how his phone call left me stumped.

"I got your text" Matt said softly, taking my hand and leading me into the room, closing the door with his foot. "When I came to get you, you were gone. I tried calling, a lot-"

I sighed, standing nervously as Matt walked towards the breakfast bar.

This was fancy.

"Something came up" I said, feeling nervous.

"Sit down. I don't bite" he smirked. "Not hard, anyway-"

Oh god.

"Matt-"

"I missed you today" he mumbled, walking towards me.

I could tell he wanted to kiss me, but I turned my head, not wanting my feelings to be influenced in any way.

"I mean, apart from sound check, I haven't seen you much today" he added, stroking my hair. "Text or call Rachel, she's freaking out over the disappearing act too-"

"She can wait" I cut him off. "And there's a reason for that"

Matt stopped what he was doing, meeting my eyes.

"Oh?" He whispered. "What's wrong?"

I sighed, biting my lip nervously as Matt laced his fingers with mine.

"Josh called me earlier, when I was outside the arena"

I watched the smile drop from Matt's face, and it made my heart explode seeing how he reacted.

"Oh" he said. "I see. That's why you weren't at the show" he added, sounding disappointed.

I watched him walk to the mini bar, grabbing a glass and helping himself to whatever he could get his hands on.

I never saw Matt drink properly before, but I wasn't stupid, I knew what he was doing.

He was preparing himself for whatever I was planning to say and that made me feel awful.

"What did he say?" He asked, sounding like he forced the words out. Like he was trying not to care, but he did, too much.

"You don't have to be noble, Matt"

"Don't I?" He laughed, his back still facing me.

"Of course not" I sighed. "You can't be-"

"No, no I can't" he cut me off, turning and pointing his finger at me. "You know why? I can't be when it comes to you"

I looked up at the man who completely consumed me in two months, who kissed me in an art gallery and kissed me on his hotel room bed 24 hours ago...and all I felt was everything combined, lust, passion, desire, want and need...