Fictober23

I can't wait for you 6/10

Waiting outside the castle for Sebastian wasn't a new activity for you. You even had a usual spot where you sat every time you were waiting for him, a place on the stairs where you saw all the other couples on their way to Hogsmeade or to explore the castle grounds, groups of friends having fun while you sat and wait for your boyfriend who was always late... if he even shows up.

You knew what he was doing, you even knew where he was because he told you he wanted to spend some time in the library before your date, which was supposed to start two hours ago, so you weren't actually waiting for him anymore. But you stayed there to try and froze time, to try not to lose hope on him, for him to arrive at any second. But the truth was that you had lost hope long ago, and you were delaying something you had realized some time ago but weren't brave enough to admit it, until now.

"Sweetheart I'm here! I'm sorry" Sebastian's voice took you out of your thoughts "Merlin, you must be freezing, here take my coat" You hadn't realized how cold you were until he put his warm coat on you and hugged you to keep you warm. "What are you doing out here, love?"

And he squished your heart with that question.

"I was waiting for you" you answer sharply.

"Love you should have waited inside. I'm so sorry, I lost track of time until I saw the sunset through the windows..."

"Well, it was warm outside when I arrived. On-time by the way"

"Sweetheart I'm sorry, I was reading a book about some South Asia healing magic methods, I'm sure I'll find a cure for Anne in there."

"Enough Sebastian! " you yell at him, stepping out of his hug "I know what you have been reading, I gave you that book and so many others. I helped you with your research to the point of exhaustion. I understand what are you searching for and why it is so important. What I don't understand is why you always have to stand me up for it."

He looked at you in shock as if it was the first time he was hearing this from you, and you felt your throat closing remembering all the signals you gave him, all the times you said something, you realized he was never listening.

"I am looking for a cure for Anne" he mumbled

"Merlin! I know that Sebastian, you have been looking for a cure since the day I met you, and I have helped you with everything I could, and that's why I can't understand why I don't deserve a couple of hours as your priority?"

"Darling, we spend all the time together. Of course you are a priority to me" he tried to grab your hands but you didn't let him.

"FOR MERLIN'S SAKE SEBASTIAN, we are a couple! From time to time I would like more than sitting together in class or spending all day doing homework alongside Ominis or searching for a cure."

"I'm sorry. I'll make it up to you, I promise" he was starting to panic, you knew your words were hurting him, but you kept going.

"You have broken that promise so many times I already lost count, Sebastian!" you turn back from him so he wouldn't see your tears as you keep talking, "I don't think this is working anymore."

"Are you..." it took him a couple of seconds to speak again "NO! No, no, no!. You can't break up with me. MC please, I love you, and I know you love me too, don't do this" he hugged you tight and you couldn't find the strength to fight against it.

"Please Sebastian, don't make this harder than already is" you begged. His fingers felt like claws against your arms, he had you traped as tight as he could.

"We can solve this out. I know we can" He said with a broken voice.

"I had tried Sebastian, and I know you are not doing this to me on purpose. I just can't take it anymore."

"No. I will try harder, I promi..." he left his guard down for a second and you free yourself out of his hug so you could look him in the eyes, they were full of tears just like yours.

"I can't, please. I can't keep loving you like this when I know you barely care about me, I'm not a priority for you Seb"

His voice was full of sadness when he asked you.

"Are you... asking me to choose, between you and my sister?" his words took you by surprise, you couldn't believe he was asking that.

"Of course not!" your tears kept coming down your face, and everything started looking blurred  "That would be cruel and unfair!" but you knew he wasn't totally mistaken so you decided to speak your truth. "I'm not going to make you choose, ever. But I'm making me choose, Sebastian. And I'm choosing me."

He looked at you bewildered, trying to understand you but he just couldn't "I have to put myself first. I can't keep pretending that it doesn't hurt me knowing that you take me for granted. That you always had. I won't keep doing it, I can't bear it anymore. I love you too much, but I can't wait for you any longer. Doing this breaks my heart... I-I'm sorry Sebastian."

You passed him to enter the castle. Sebastian tried to grab your hand but he only reached your fingers, so you felt his touch briefly before you started running as fast as you could.

He didn't follow you and part of you were grateful for that, but you mainly felt your heart breaking completely.

You didn't even realize when you arrived at the Undercroft. You just wanted a safe place to cry yourself out, but you didn't notice Ominis was there until it was too late and he already heard you crying.

"Darling, what's wrong?" he asked worriedly. He ran to you, taking you into his harm. You just were able to mumble Sebastian's name and he figured out the rest "Oh, so you told him".

Ominis knew about how you felt about Sebastian, he had for a while and even comforted you about it. You and him spend a lot of time together every time Sebastian researches for a cure on his own.

"I'm sorry it ended up like that, darling" he was hugging you, rubbing your back, and wiping tears from your face. He kept comforting you until you stopped crying and were able to speak again.

"Thank you, Ominis. I don't know what I would do without you."

"And you would never have to find out. I'm here darling. Come on now, let's get you something to eat". he helped you stand up

"I'm not hungry" you whispered and wiped away the tears that kept coming down your face.

"It doesn't matter, you need to eat. And then you need to sleep" he put his arm on your shoulders, and you were so grateful to have him there not letting you fall. 

"Can you just take me to the room of Requirements? I could ask Deek to take up some food. I should've gone there from the beginning, I'm sorry Ominis." you walked out of the Undercroft. He was still holding you, his touch was warm and delicate.

"You don't have to apologize, darling. It might be better for you not to be alone right now... but maybe Sebastian would like some privacy" he hesitated a moment before asking the question "Would you mind if I spend the night in your room of Requirements? The Undercroft is a bit too cold" 

You felt guilt, he didn't deserve to give up his room because you broke up with his roommate.

"Of course you can. Ominis I'm so sorry..." He stopped and made you look at him.

"Stop apologising MC. None of this is your fault"  His pale blue eyes were looking directly at you, they were so beautifully hypnotic, making you feel he could actually see you.

"I just don't want to force you to choose sides, but I also don't want to lose you" You felt a sudden burden. It was already painful letting go of Sebastian, but imagining losing Ominis too almost made you cry again.

"You are not going to lose me, MC" You wonder how he could sound mad and tender at the same time, but he did that a lot lately. "I'll be here as long as you need me."

His words lifted your burden. You hugged him tight and he kissed your forehead and hugged you back. You still felt your heart shattered, but having Ominis there gave you a little bit of hope. He made you feel you weren't alone anymore.

You felt safe and seen for the first time in so long, that you wouldn't have let go of him even if you had noticed Sebastian standing at the end of the stairs staring at you and Ominis. Sebastian left without saying a word so you eventually let go of Ominis, and the two of you walked to your room of Requirements to spend the night together.