Fictober23

Who takes care of you? 22/10

You weren't an enthusiast of research, but where else would you find anything in the year 1891 if not the library? Sadly, what you were looking for had to be in the restricted section and none of your professors were interested in helping you. Maybe Professor Fig would have, but it was too late for that.

"No...no.... useless... I don't think that would work... No...." You mumbled to yourself after leafing through another useless book. So you put it back and took another.

But you couldn't find anything useful so you got frustrated and your head started throbbing a little more after every attempt you put the book back, took another, and repeated again and again.

"Fuck, no... Useless." You put another book back on the ledge when you heard noises, so you pointed your wand at the source, It probably was one of the books you called useless coming back at you, you had heard some of those were cursed books that could kill you if you weren't careful.

"Merlin, MC! It's just me. Put your wand down" Sebastian took off the Disillusionment charm and showed you both his hands to show you he was unarmed.

"What are you doing here?" you whispered mad "You can't risk another detention."

"You just saved me from Azkaban, I'm sure you can save me from detention." you gave him a cold look full of sadness and hoped it could pass as indifference. "Too soon? Of course, it is. I'm sorry."

"What do you want Sallow?" you didn't look at him, you took another book and started turning pages.

"Sallow?" he sounded hurt but you tried not to care "I... I came looking for you. It's late and you should be resting"

"You sound like Nurse Blainey" You closed the book and put it back, this was a heavy manual about Horocrux and a step-by-step guide, why would anyone ever need that? 

"Maybe because you should be in the hospital wing, instead of raiding the restricted section in the middle of the night." he came closer to you, but you didn't pay attention "D-did something happen? Is it your ancient magic? Or the Keepers?"

You looked away from the book and looked at him confused.

"What? No. I haven't talked to them since everything that happened at the Repository" You looked away again and kept passing pages.

"You mean since yesterday?" he tried to get closer to you, making little steps, as if you were a wild animal and would either run or attack him at any second.

"Honestly I don't know what day it is... What do you want Sebastian?"

"I want you to come with me before anyone catches us. Besides, Ominis is worried about you, he went to grab your dinner and you disappeared" he stood still, trying to predict your next move.

"Just tell him I'm sorry. I'll be back before sunrise" Your gaze went back to the book, but before you could keep reading Sebastian was beside you. He put his hand on your shoulder and asked you gently.

"At least tell me what are you looking for. I can help, I know this section like the back of my hand" You knew he was trying to help, but something about the way he said those words, as if he was proud of it, made you lose your mind.

"Really?"You said sarcastically, put the book back, and walked to the next bookshelf "Did you memorize this one as well?" you asked him louder than you should.

"Stop shouting or you will get us caught. Why are you mad?" He took a couple of steps back from you.

"I'm not. I am. But not at you" Your words couldn't keep up with your thoughts "You shouldn't be here and I just want to know where to keep looking!"

"Looking for what?"

"A cure for Anne!"

Sebastian looked at you shocked. He stood still and blinked a couple of times before he answered.

"W-why are you doing that?"

"Just tell me where to keep looking, please"  you started to breathe heavily "I need to keep looking. Please Seb, just tell me where to look!" you didn't notice when Sebastian reached to you or when you started shaking, but you felt it when he grabbed you by your arms to contain you, like you had done for him so many times.

"You don't have to do this" he whispered

"Yes, I do. Let me go." you could barely speak, but you wanted to scream.

"Why?"

You felt your throat close, your eyes began to flood and you couldn't stop it anymore.

"Because it's my fault! Everything is my fault!" Your legs failed you and you fell, taking Sebastian by surprise, he couldn't stop you from falling but he curbed your fall. "If I hadn't killed Rookwood, I could have made him lift the curse" You tried not to shout at him but couldn't, you felt so angry and frustrated you didn't care if somebody caught you.

Sebastian knelt next to you and rubbed your back.

"Nobody blames you for that. That bastard kidnapped you, what you did to him wasn't your fault."

Your gaze was blurred by the tears gathered in your eyes, you felt numb and a failure.

"But it is! Everything is my fault! Anne is getting worse because of me, Naty is in the Hospital wing because of me, and Professor Fig is dead because of me! I encourage you into the dark arts, I didn't listen to Ominis warnings. I destroy everything I touch! I should have never come here."

Sebastian gave you a tight hug that took you by surprise.

"Don't say that. Please don't say that" He whispered in your ear. After a moment he let go of you and looked you in the eyes. "MC, you didn't destroy anything that wasn't already broken. My life is way better because you are in it. I'll admit, these last couple of days had been the worst of my life, but I would relive them if that meant having you in it" he cupped his hand against your cheek "You saved me, Ominis, and everyone in this school. For Merlin's sake, you saved the entire Wizarding world from Ranrok! If it wasn't for you none of us would be here."

"But..." You tried to speak but he rubbed your cheek with his thumb and kept talking.

"No buts, MC. I know not everything turned out as you wished, believe me. But I know you, and you have been taking care of everything and everyone since the day you arrived here, but who takes care of you?"

Tears ran down your face and you didn't try to stop them, even though you hated crying.

It was funny, you thought, how all this time you had been drowning and didn't even notice until you let yourself cry your heart out in Sebastian's arms. 

He took you back to the Hospital wing where Ominis was still waiting for you. You apologized for everything you had put him through this year.

"There's no need MC. You did the best you could, and I can't blame you for trying. I'm glad you are all right, darling. But don't you ever run away like that again! I was worried sick..."

He lectured you for a while and told you that you didn't have to carry heavy burdens by yourself ever again.

"You have us, darling. Please remember that, always."

Ominis and Sebastian stayed with you till the end of the night. You talked and they made you laugh a little, they went back to their dorm before sunrise and promised to bring you breakfast in a few hours. So you fall asleep feeling safe, and genuinely happy for the first time in a long time.