CHAPTER 6, THE WAY BACK

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"Living in the present doesn't mean you are completely free from past."

"I don't know what am I doing."
"But the inside voice want me to do it."

I am going back home. To the place where I was born, to the place where I was brought up, to the place where most of my memories are tied up to. It is the place where I lived 18 years of my life  with my dad, mom and my twin sister Evelyn. It is the place where I lost my dad, it is the place where my mom hated me, it is the place where my I almost killed my sister.

Nobody is at my home at this time. Mom and Evelyn moved to states for Evelyn's treatment. So no need to worry about people around me.

I never thought of going back home but in this condition I cannot stay where I stayed before. So it's important for me to go back home.

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(After the tiring journey of almost a day she reached her destination.....her home. Her home is a big mansion which her family inherited for generations. Surrounded with hills, a river flowing not so far. )

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This place....

I hate this place.....

It's too cold everywhere...

The whistling sound of chilling breeze is terrifying me...

            I parked my car in the garage. There was nothing much to pack in bags. I have few of my clothes here, and I packed everything else in 2 bags. May be I'm gonna leave rest of my life. I walked through the cobbled path to the front door.

I put my hands into my pocket to take my keys. I can feel the metal touch my hand. Everyone one in our family one key each for everyone. I have two with me.
      
                        My Dad's and mine...

                                My Dad's and mine

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Opening this door feels impossible. I should open it. I should live here. This is my home. I took the keys from my pocket and opened the large door. It's been few months till mom and Evelyn left this place. It's dust all over the place. The chandler in the hall is still screeching from the pressure of opening the door. The cold inside the home is same as of outside.

I took my bags and kept it inside.
I want to look around.
Ponder the worst nightmares of my life.

Not much have changed, all the old paintings, mine and Eve's picture on the wall all the way upstair's.
How much I hated her, how much vengence I have for her. Since the day I remeber my life I hated her...
I hated her so much.

My room.

My books.

My journals.

It's all still here. Not an inch has changed.

I started cleaning everything. Opened the window with large frame. I can see the river flowing, I can hear the voice of water getting splashed on rocks.
I can see the vintage well just under the window. The well that is not covered. The rocks beside it. The sounds in my head became more and more irritating. I can feel the chill hitting me. My blood stopped running through my veins. I stopped breathing.

                   

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                    ............Suddenly.............
Something fell down behind me.

I took a sharp breath.
The hold of cold in my body is slowly releasing....
I turned my head to see what it is.
Nothing fell down. But I can hear the voice in my brain telling to me to be carefull, the voice is telling me that somebody is there.

"Nanny...is that you?.."

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