Airplanes and Airports

Chapter 6

You were perfect; everybody liked you, even wanted to be you. I wanted to be like you. No, I'm not jealous of you. I just want to be like you now so that I can make people proud. Would you be proud of me? I want you to be. I want other people to see that I'm as talented as you. I was proud of you. I always will be.

It breaks my heart knowing that the person who you think is proud of you will not be there to say "I am proud of you" anymore. It breaks my heart to know that those eyes that show pride and happiness won't be there to watch me anymore. It breaks my heart. It breaks me.

Before going to bed last night, King gave me my registration form. Apparently, I start school today. 11AM ung first class ko and 3PM ung dismissal ko; I can't complain. What I don't like is that I have to wear a uniform - white blouse and navy blue skirt - which is something that I abhor. You can't wear what you feel like wearing. Nakakainis. The only thing I can control is the pair of school shoes that I'm going to wear. At least pwedeng mag high heels! Yes!

It was already 8AM when I woke up. The maids told me na umalis na daw si Kuya. 7AM daw ung first class nya eh. And, may driver naman daw ako that I can depend on. Excuse me, I want to drive myself to school din naman. Yun nga lang, I don't have a license yet and... clueless ako sa places dito. Sana kasi, same schedule na lang kami ni Kuya para he can teach me the short cuts and all.

I went down to have breakfast. It's like I'm back in New York - having meals alone is not something new to me. It's just that now, I feel lonelier. Or baka kasi, ineexpect ko na King would be here, eating breakfast with me. Sa States naman kasi it's a different kind of loneliness. Hay nako! I shouldn't really stress myself with this; today's my first day of school and I'm officially a Literature major. Yay!

"Izzy?", it was our maid, Manang Gloria.

"Yes po?", my usual reply. I know.

She handed me a sandwich. "Sabi kasi ng Kuya mo, baka hindi ka daw kumain sa school. Kaya ayan, baon."

I smiled. "Nako, manang. Okay lang. Sana you didn't bother na po. Okay lang talaga."

"May iba ka pa bang gusto? Gusto mo magluto ako para baon mo?", she really looked worried and concerned.

"Hindi. Okay na po to. Thank you po.", I said with a nervous smile on my face.

Hindi ko lang talaga alam kung pano ako magre-react sa random act of kindness ni Manang. She's motherly and all, but I never expected her to be like this. Minsan lang din kasi sakin ganun ung Mom namin eh. So, I really didn't know what to feel or something eh.

It... It feels nice knowing that someone's concerned. Even if they worry about the little things, like, me not eating or something. Ganun pala ung feeling nun. That even if it's something small, nakaka-pull ng strings sa heart. Yuck, ang drama ko nanaman!

She sat beside me. "Sabihin mo lang kung may gusto o kailangan ka ah? Yang Kuya mo, parang anak na ang turing ko jan."

I looked at her and tried to study her. Her eyes showed her age. But, I looked at her with questions in my eyes as well. Never pa kong naka-meet ng taong ganito eh. I've been here for less than a week and she cares for me na? Wow.

"Wala na kasi akong anak. Kaya nung sinabihan ako ng kapitbahay ko na merong pamilya na naghahanap ng maid para sa anak nila, nag-apply na ako. Akala ko kasi, baby ung anak," natawa sya ng konti and she continued, "Yun pala, malaki na! Kung buhay siguro ang anak ko, kasing edad na sya ng Kuya mo. Eh kaso, ayun. Nahold-up nung pauwi na sya. Ayaw ibigay ang cellphone dahil bigay ko un sa kanya eh. Nasaksak. Ayun."

I wanted to tell her that she's lucky her son did not die in her arms. Pero, masakit pa din yun sa kanya. It's her own flesh and blood dying somewhere na hindi nya alam kung saan. I wanted to hug her and make her feel that there's someone who feels her pain, pero... yun nga. Magkaiba ung pain. I don't know if hugging her and making her feel my pain would suffice. She lost her son. Lost him to someone who wants to sell the damned cell phone to buy what? A pack of drugs? Oh well.

I don't know if this is the right way to start my day. Kakastart pa nga lang, ang sad na nung narinig ko! Today should be a happy day, yes? But, deep inside me... I wanted to make Manang Gloria happy. I don't know how though.

"Ay nako. Ano ba yan? Sorry ha? Akala ko kasi gusto mong makipagkwentuhan. Sige, magalmusal --"

"Manang, okay lang. I want to, pero... malelate na po ako eh. Mamaya na lang?" I smiled at her.

She smiled back. It's as if it was a smile of relief and gratitude that someone wants to hear her story. She nodded at me and left me be.

I looked at the clock which already read 9 o'clock. Shit, I will be late pa yata sa first day of school ko! Shit talaga. I rushed and went back up to my room to prep up.

I left at around 9:45. Whew. I wouldn't be late! 

I heard her story. With the money they were paid, what was it that they bought? Was it expensive enough to have cost them your life? Was it to keep somebody alive? Who'll have time to hear my story aside from you?