Airplanes and Airports

Chapter 4

Someday, life will be fairer. In another world, everything wouldn't happen so fast; you wouldn't be gone. Someday, everything will be back to how it was. Am I giving myself false hopes? Am I wishing for too much? I hope I'm not; I've been devastated enough to just be broken again. One day will come that I will finally be happier. I will be accepted and loved. Someday. Someday.

It was Friday when I arrived. I slept the whole day and my brother let me sleep the whole day lang. I'm jet lagged after all. I don't know where my brother went; he was gone when I woke up and I was left with two maids. Since, hindi ko naman alam what to do, I had dinner alone, went up to my room, and watched TV. Few hours after that, I was fast asleep again.

The next time I saw my brother was Saturday afternoon. And since he was out the whole night, he was super grumpy when he woke up. Hay nako. That's what I hate about him, aalis aalis tapos the morning after, super grumpy nya. Talk about annoying big brothers. He wasn't mean naman to me or anything, pero syempre, since alam kong he woke up at the wrong side of the bed, I minded my own business. I gave my mom a call after that late lunch with Kuya. It was a really uneventful day for me.

And now it's Sunday morning. Surprisingly, my brother was up early. It was 8AM and he's up na. We had breakfast in our garden.

"So, since you're up early... What will we do today?", I asked.

He shook his head and smirked, "Tsk. Someone's bored na oh. 3 days ka pa lang dito, Iz."

I gave him a pout. "Eh, Kuya naman kasi. Yun nga eh. It's been 3 days and I haven't been out of the house."

"It's Sunday today. Get dressed, we're going to Grandma's. She called yesterday and they want to see you. Nagpa-party pa ata para sayo eh.", he said.

"What time are we leaving?"

"10? Mejo malayo un. We'll have lunch there and we'll go home after dinner na siguro."

Technically, I am the youngest in the Mendez Clan. That was 5 years ago. My mom's the third youngest of 7 children; my youngest aunt is only 34. And, sya pa ung walang plan to get married! Ewan ko ba dun. She's really pretty - mestiza - and really smart. Pero, super taas naman kasi ng standard nya eh. It's been five years and since people change, I don't know if she's planning to get married soon.

I'm pretty close with my cousins, as well. Even if I'm the youngest, super close lang naman ng ages namin eh. My eldest cousin is 27; I'm 18. Merely 9 years lang ung gap namin. Pano kasi, almost lahat kami born in the same year. All in all, we're 15.

"By the way, I've enrolled you na pala.", my brother informed me while he was eating.

"Where?"

"Same university. Sorry, Iz, ah?", he wiped his mouth with the table napkin, "Literature's the only course open eh. Di naman kasi quota course yun. You can shift naman after 2 sems eh. If you want."

If my eyes can really sparkle, I guess, they did. When I asked my mom if she'd still accept me if I want to be a poet, that was true. I really wanted to be a poet. No, I haven't really decided yet. Pero, I want to write, to travel, and to just publish something. My brother picked the best course.

I stood up and hugged him. "OMG! Thank you, Kuya! Thank youuuu!"

"Whoa, sis.", he hugged back, "So, you really want to take that course, huh?"

"I guess. Yes? Yeah! I mean, you know what I'm good at and everything. Yeah?", I rambled.

He chuckled, "I guess. Ewan ko, meron din naman kasi akong friends sa Lit eh. So, yeah. They suggested it naman din."

I can finally do what I want to do, I thought to myself. Na-feel kong I was free. One way or another, I didn't have any chains wrapped around my neck anymore; I wasn't leashed. For the first time in five years, I felt like I had my life back. I felt as if, the pieces of my life are starting to fall into the right places. Yung feeling na... you have control over your life again. Something like that.

Back in New York, I was leashed; My life wasn't mine to rule. I had to pretend that I was an angel - my Dad's angel. That was my "day job". At night, I would party and get drunk with other rich kids. There are nights that we would get high and make it to the papers. They wanted to waste their parents' money; I wanted to forget and to finally feel free. It was easy being what I was at night, but it was hell trying to put up a front when people are watching you. They know that I am David Wolffe's only daughter and they expect me to worship my father. I didn't even adore my father. I stopped being his daughter the second the bullet was fired from an unidentified gun pierced him.

To make the long story short, I am just his daughter because his name was written on my birth certificate as my father.

I never really grieved because of that. Kaya kong i-accept yun. Okay, sige, minsan siguro. Pero, mas kaya ko pa i-accept yun eh. I mean, it's but normal for fathers to turn cold when their children screw up, diba?

"Chabbie?", King was snapping his fingers in front of my face.

"Huh? Yes?", I was out of my trance.

He sighed, "You're thinking of something again. Ano un?"

"Huh? Wala, Kuya. Don't mind me. I'm just happy. Alam mo yun, I can do what I want to do na. Here in Manila.", I forced a smile.

"Kasi wala si Dad?", he asked frankly.

I must return the same frankness. "Oo. Sya lang naman ung nag-hihinder for me to live my life eh. You know that."

"Eh, Chabs... ganun eh. I stopped living din naman eh. I try to make him proud pa din naman, because after all, he is our father. Kahit ibaliktad pa natin ung earth, he's still our dad.", he shrugged.

For the past five years of my life, I've been keeping this hate towards my father. It's just fair enough to hate the person that hates you back, right? It wasn't my fault, but he keeps on blaming me for that accident. My hands are clean, but he placed his blood on them just to have someone to blame for what happened to him. I'm hurting, but someday.. life will be fairer.