Regrets

Chapter 3

Becky's

I was lying on my bed staring straight at my white ceiling thinking about the things that happened moments ago after Freen left my condo. I don't know what to feel. I am sad but don't want to dwell on it much. I have a heart that needs to move on and feelings to fade, though I am not exactly sure how am i gonna do that.

Shrugging off the feeling of just about everything, I took my phone on the bedside table of my bed and shot Taran a message "Hi. I'm up for that talk now if you're not busy. Just tell me when to call".

After a few minutes, she messaged back "Hey there, cutie. I am so not busy now for you. Shoot the call anytime, I'll wait ;)". And so I called her:

Hi.. you sure you're not busy right now?

"Nope. never gonna be too busy for you" she replied and I could sense her smile for the way she talked and I smiled at that as well.

How about the app you told me you're still coding this morning? You done with it? I asked her, remembering that she told me about the app she still working on this morning when we talked briefly over the phone.

I heard her chuckle at the other line.

"It's cute how you remember little things like that" here we go again with her ever-so-cheesy ass.

you weirdo, it was just this morning how can i forget? I answered shaking my head while half smiling.

"ughh why you have to ruin it again? I heard her exaggerated sigh. I'm trying to flirt here at the same time i flutter myself with the thought" she whined playfully. Wanting to sound annoyed.

I answered her with a laugh because i know she's trying to play with me again. Whatever

She laughed at my response from the other side. "But seriously, i'm almost done. Just fixing some bugs so don't worry i'm not too busy, not for you." always has a way with words, don't we.

Okaaay, so... are we really doing this? I mean, please remind me again why i agreed to let you meet p'freen. I sighed. Frustration in my voice because i just don't know what to think and do anymore.

"Well, for her to know me, i guess??" right. Not the other way around because Taran definitely knows Freen all too well now, well, aside from the obvious reason that Freen is a famous actress, she knows Freen a little too well from all the times i talked about Freen to her.

Yeah. Right, because i want things like this to be normal between us. Like how things with her and Saint were normalized without me having much of a say in it. There was no response from Taran for a moment and I realized what i just said. Crap. way to ruin things, becky.

Hey.. i'm sorry. I know this isn't easy for you as well. I told her again after getting no response from her. Now i'm feeling all guilty.

"It's fine.." silence..

It's not. I answered her feeling all frustrated with myself. Okay. we're meeting her Sunday for dinner just for.. for.. things that.. should be normal for us. It should be normal, she's a Phi to me and it is just normal for her to get introduced with.. with you.. the person i'm looking forward to building a relationship with.. I told her. I smiled a sad one, knowing that Taran isn't quite convinced. We both know there's more to it, there's more than just introducing her to Freen.

"Yeah.. " she answered. Probably smiling a sad one as well, i can tell from her voice.

"becca.. you know we do it at your pace, right?" she asked me. I am honestly surprised by how frequently i am in awe for the patience and understanding Taran has been giving me since we decided we will try to turn things to something between us.